Oh! What a Beautiful Morning!

It's gonna be warm today.

Blueberry Watermelon Fruitopia is a wonderful thing.

Crackers are also spectacular.

Just look at that sunshine! Makes me wish I could be awake and outside for it.

I'm sleepy though. Bedtime!

Spine

What does Becca have in common with a sea cucumber, a jellyfish, and all insect species?

Biology students hopefully got this one...

She has no SPINE!

Friend suggests activity that Becca knows she will not enjoy.
Does Becca say "no thanks, I'm not interested"?
No, Becca says sure, agrees to go, drive everyone, and takes to crying inwardly.

There is a reason she does this, and Dr. Anjelica Milanovich is primarily responsible.
Knowing the reason doesn't make it any better.

*Kick self*
*Kick Dr. Milanovich*
*Kick wall*

I over socialized this weekend.

It is astounding how little time I can spend in a group of people with out getting pissy. Let make this easily mathematical.

x = the number of people I am with, myself counted at one, max value being 10, because after that I got nuts anyway. "x" is actually an interesting calculation in itself, because some people are worth more than one and other are worth less than one. In general:
your x weight= (-1)(number of years I've known you]-(your minty freshness %)/(10)+(0.5)(the number of penises you have)+(the avg number of cosmetic products and tools you use daily)-(0.2)(how much I talk to you on a scale of 0 to 10)+(2)(number of times you curse in an average sentence)

y= how annoyed I am on a scale of 1 to 18.

After 24 hours,

y = 2x-1

Soo, if I am with 4 people for 24 hours, at the end of it I will be a 7 out of 19 on the annoyed-ness scale. Thus I am generally a misery to be around (you know, more than usual) and I apologise to all of those whose lives I have darkened.

Now you can all calculate exactly how much you piss me off... lol. Enjoy. I'm making cookies.

Therapy

Is good. I get to go talk about myself for an hour :)

I'm so excited for life right now. I'm leaving a lot of things I don't like and starting a lot of things I think I will like and I know I've said this before but I'm so happy about it. I don't remember a time when I've viewed a change this big with so little apprehension.
Maybe I just feel good because of the sunshine.
But good feeling is good feeling, and I will take what I can in that respect.

Also this weekend promises to be half decent. A friend issue almost made me angry. Actually, it did make me angry so I had to take a time out, tell myself to get a grip, and now I'm not mad. It's kind of nice to let some things slide in favour of enjoying the present and the company of good friends.

I'm actually sitting in a Williams right now (the one on the corner of University and King) and there are the most hilarious guys sitting at the table next to me. The one guy came in first and was kinda sitting awkwardly waiting. Then his friend came in and they had a discussion about him being so commonly late. He also forgot his wallet, so the friend who had to wait also has to pay. Heh. Now I am listening to them talk about their friends. It's PEOPLE LISTENING!!! They are going to Value Village tomorrow at 11... ooooh I want to staaaaalk!!!! I am so creepy! heheha! Unfortunately I am busy.

Nerd points for linking back to my own blog... I'm sorry. I just couldn't find the original source.

Today in therapy we discussed a little bit more of the difference between thinking and feeling. It came to my attention that sometimes I get those things confused, and a lot of things that I believe I am thinking I am actually feeling.

Example: I think there is justice in the universe. People who do bad things will get punished and people who do good things will get rewarded. Most people believe this actually. In our experience of life, however, there is little to no proof of that being a valid view. So really I "think" that life is unfair, but I "feel" that there is justice.
Ain't this a conundrum?

Can you tell I've had a bit of extra caffeine?

Also, linking back to my own post forced me to read a bit of blog backlog (fun to say!). I have the maddest mood swings don't I? I should go through and look for patterns...
I've recently become fascinated with the scientific method. I know, I know, you want me to go nerd on someone else. But tis so coool!! It's the most logical way to approach anything!

See something weird
Think about it for a while
Guess at why it is how it is
Test your theory
Think about your results for a while
If your theory is wrong, try a new one
If your theory is right, find something else weird to experiment on!!

Is it not lovely, lucid, and logical? I firmly believe that the reason I am good at my job (side story: my foreperson told me in front of my entire shift that I had the best efficiency of the 25 or so people I work with! It made my day!!) is that I employ this method whenever I find a problem. I am not mechanically minded, but I did alright I think. I am not a bit annoyed to be leaving a job where I actually did well and made decent money.

The Dooly's pool hall across the way is advertising a "ladie's" night. Ooh, my grammatical soul!

Time to go fetch a friend! Hurrah!

Well frik!

You remember the real batman, I'm sure. The one who actually looks like he's part bat. The one that I'm paranoid about.

When I woke up like 20 mins ago I found two parallel cuts on my wrist, about 0.4cm apart and 0.3cm long. Like suspicious little tooth marks....

I'm not actually that paranoid. I assume I just didn't notice at work that I scraped myself on something or poked myself with my knife. I've been getting clumsier with it lately.
That's still a bit creepy eh :D

Do you ever have a day where you know that no matter how much you get done you won't finish everything you had to do? That's today for me, and it's not entirely my fault. This whole week is a bit frantic.
I find that I accomplish less in these scenarios because I'm like "Well, if I'm gonna be behind I may as well truly screw myself over". You know, typical logical response :P

So now I must scamper off and try to accomplish things. Bleh.

Paranoia

Have I mentioned the REAL bat man?
The man who looks like he is part bat?
It's theeeee most terrifying thing ever.
I saw him at the mall
And then I saw him at the home show.

He is stalking me.

Ok: Imagine a cross between these two images and you will be close to what he looks like...



(Minus the metal claws (I hope!))

DO YOU SEE WHY I AM SO CREEPED OUT!!????!!!

If I see him again I will for reals freak out. More.

Pollination

Is really cool.

I really want to try and figure out a way to get a bumblebee colony living in my yard.... I heart bumblebees. And they are endangered, so I will be like a good person or something ;).

Also, frekken BEAUTIFUL DAY!!!! Tshirt and windows down in the car. There is no reason to be sad, because the earth is happy today.

Day of Strange

I got out of work this morning, and I started my car. And my cell phone rang. 730 in the morning is a singular time to receive a phone call. But it said Tory on the call display, so I picked it up.

She invited me to Tim Hortons to hang out with her and her friend.

We hung out till about noon, and I had a jolly time! I did not socially sabotage myself! I don't think...

I got home and slept till 5ish, then got up and ran some errands.
Around 7 I got a phone call from my brother, asking to be picked up just outside of Wallenstein. I found him and his friend walking along the side of the road. Brother was wearing a life jacket and was a little bit drunk. They had apparently been canoeing. I had to drive them out to Glen Allen where they had left their vehicle. Silly boys.

I was working on my physics homework and singing along to the Decemberists when the doorbell rang. I don't usually get visitors at 9pm. It was a Calvin. We had a nice tea and chatted about existence, prayer, entitlement, universal justice, and the future. All the usual things kids talk about.

And now I am trying to decide whether having a nap will make me more or less tired before work. Hmm Hmm Hmm.

"There are power lines in our blood lines"

Summer time

It's so soon! I can feel it in the sunshine and the air is full of green.

I'm going to be in Guelph starting in May. I've got a once-a-week volunteer position at the Vet College and 3 courses to keep up with. I've got an awesome roomie to jam with :). I need to find a job.
Jemma is going to her new home at the start of April.

I feel like this spring is the start of a new version of life.

No more warm, lazy evenings wandering up and down the empty streets of my home town.
No more spontaneous road trips with my dear boys.
No more horrible factory job.
No more rides in the empty forest with Jemma.
No more arguing with my mother about vehicle use and bedroom cleanliness.
No more sitting in the shade chatting with Lynn and Doug after hours of throwing hay bales.
No more barefoot midnight walks through the countryside.
No more hiding from my family in my bedroom.
No more hanging out with just siblings.
No more relaxing in my house alone happily watching the shadows roam around the floor
No more, no more.

I'm not scared to leave home this time. It feels like I'm ready now. Do you remember me moving to Guelph for 1st year? Freak outs and whatnot, eh? Apart from a sense of sorrow for the times that can no longer be had, I am at peace about it.

This sunny day has become a memento mori.

It's kind of pathetic. I think my brother's friends are so cool, but I'm always so intimidated around them that I act like a nincompoop. I want to shoot myself :)

I have only a few comments

I just did my course selection for the summer and fall semesters. Temporary insanity led me to take 3 courses in the summer and move my Stats course (planned for the winter) into the fall semester. I'm ok with my times too, except for the fact that i will be on campus from 830-630 every monday and wednesday. I view the chunk of time from 230 - 530 where I have nothing as allotted homework time. Perhaps I'll be able to accomplish things.

I've found an almost for sure home for Jemma, so she will likely be leaving the end of March. It hasn't really sunk in yet, or else I'd be more panicky about it. I will maybe have money then, which will be nice.

I love the Beatles. I'm never gonna stop saying that, even though you've all heard it before. Most recently, I've fallen in love with "I'll Follow the Sun" and "Words of Love" and "Norwegian Wood".

I think a lot of what I'll miss about having a horse is being able to hang out at the barn with Lynn and Doug. I had a nice chat with Doug today (it's apparently his bday) and I'm gonna miss them more than my parents. *Sigh*.

So my life will be NUTS over the next few days. Here is my little agenda:
Wed (Today):
8 AM Course selection
12 PM Meet people at barn to discuss Jemma
700 PM Bible study

Thurs:
10 AM Phys Lab in Guelph. Need to get it signed off and everything.
130 PM Rabies shot at the Uni. :S!

Fri:
3 AM Family leaving for Florida
3 PM Therapy!
Evening Sometime Maybe Hang out with Emily

Sat:
Morning Waffles and barn
1 (ish) PM Drive Viking to TO airport to pick up his friend.

So if you don't hear from me for a bit then you know I'm just doing stuff. I need to get a little sleep now.

One more comment:
I'm going to have my own house and vehicle from the 12th to the 20th, so if you want to visit or hang out I would like to!!!

Unfortunate

It grieves me to report that Alice in Wonderland is not worth your money. It was nice, but not great. Wait till it's out on dvd, or watch it online.

Tim Burton has been possessed by some pop culture demon. Or he's just fading as he ages.

mmmmm :)

Beatles
Sunshine
Tea
Weekend

I feel a bit bad about the whiney

I should point out all the awesome I've had this week.
1: ALICE IN WONDERLAND COMES OUT TOMORROW
2: I have delightful friends. They make me laugh out loud when they communicate with me electronically, which gets me weird looks from strangers. Which makes me happy.
3: The weather has been nothing short of spectacular. Could it be spring? I certainly am hoping.
4: I've been sleeping. A full 6 hours a day! Well maybe not today, it's been kinda shot. If I don't get my quizzics I will be vastly upset. and sleepy.
5: I had a decent night at work last night. Things didn't go well but I was working with good people. That's all that counts.
6: There is a kinda cute guy sitting next to me. If I weren't socially retarded I might attempt conversation. That, however is wishful thinking. I will just enjoy the conciousness that someone cool is nearby. *Enjoys*. He is reading a scientific article on his computer and listening to music and staring off into space.
7: "Little Lion Man" by Mumford and Sons is now officially popular, which is awesome, because that song makes me explode in happiness and sadness. I don't know if this whole rant will make sense to you, but here we go. I don't feel like my mind stops at the edge of my body. Beyond the physical anchoring point, it can stretch almost anywhere in the universe. I love it when music can express that feeling of reaching out. I love it when a song can mimic the spacious sensation I have of being alive. Being a part of everything. Maybe that is unclear, but if you listen to the song maybe you will grasp what I mean.
8: Peppermint tea is probably the most relaxing drink of ever.
9: I love creeping people. By that I mean I like finding stuff out about people and getting to know them and understand them. It is part of my obsession with knowing everything. I creeped a few people this week. I will not say whooooom, but I have learned interesting things.
10: Bee sex. 'Nuff said.

*Edited to add* Cute stranger boy eats the same type of granola bars as I do! It's meant to be!

So I'm a retard. I forgot to do the pretest for my quizzics. I am now in guelph and sleepy and not allowed to drink coffee for reasons of insanity.

Work Week

I've had a kinda poopy work week so far.

Our foreperson is off for like 3 months to get surgery for something or other, so we have a replacement foreperson. She is very good at her job, but she is becoming so frustrating to work with.
Example 1: I am getting a line set up to run a different type of food than we had been working on, and I start to program in the information on the set up panel, and she comes over and asks me what I'm doing. She has a very aggressive tone of voice and facial expression, so I naturally am terrified and tell her what I'm doing. She glares at me and said that she had already done that and that I need to get going on other stuff and we're behind and such. I scamper away wishing that I had been informed of what she had already done.

Example 2: We were having a really crap run on one line, and we had to keep stopping to fold boxes and clean stuff up. While we were stopped she came over and started hassling/helping us, trying to get us running again. We ran out of these papers that I didn't know how to make more of. When I asked her where to print them off she grabbed the paper from me, told me to step it up a notch, and went and didn't herself. I still don't know how to print those stupid papers, not to mention I'm thoroughly stressed out by the fact that I suck at my job.

Example 3: There is this guy on our shift who just generally sucks at his job. He is older and can't seem to remember how to do things. He's been there about 3 months longer than I have, so he has better pay, benefits, and choice of vacation days. He was stacking the pet food bags on a skid, and doing a really crap job of it. I was just standing sealing all the bags, so I couldn't see him or anything he was doing. Our foreperson came over and (once again, really aggressively) asked me why he was doing it that way. Ignoring my urge to ask her how the heck I was supposed to know, I pointed out that I had already told him the correct way to do it. She looked exasperated and left without any acknowledgement of my explanation. I asked the other guy who was supposed to be in charge of our line if she had talked to him, and he said she hadn't. He's also been there longer than I have. Now, even though I suck at my job and I'm slow and I'm dumb, I'm supposed to be responsible for the guy who screws up stuff when I'm not looking.

There are more things that really are frustrating about her. Pretty much whenever she is around I get really stressed out because if I don't do things exactly the way she expects them, she will charge over and ask what I'm doing. She will do stuff that needs to be done, which I appreciate, but she won't tell anyone they're done so we re-do them and once again, what are we doing?

She really needs better people skills.
And I need to really focus on not getting angry about it. I don't have the right to challenge her authority, because she has earned it.

In other (good!) news, I walked to work last night! I went in early so it wasn't scary and dark and were-wolf-y. I felt very healthful.

I talk about myself too much eh?