Saturday, May 16, 2009

This blog is taking a temporary hiatus

Don't hold your breath...

Monday, May 11, 2009

Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly: a girl with kaleidoscope eyes.

That line has been running through my head.

There's something significant about kaleidoscopes.

YAY! for....

- An awesome movie marathon
- An interesting new friend
- Going to see wolverine tonight
- Sleeping alllll day!

Saturday, May 9, 2009


A lot of people have been blogging about their various fears over the past few weeks. I thought I'd share my main fears and explain them a bit.

1) Spiders. More scared of them than I am of death. I don't know why, I can't help it.
2) Werewolves. Absolutely frekken ridiculous until I'm walking from my car to my house in the dark. There's this dark orchard beside my garage and it faces onto the driveway. I always can imagine it coming out of there. I can explain this fear though. It comes from the book Prince Caspian and the movie Beethoven (you remember? the one about the dog? There was a clip of a guy transforming between a man and a wolf and it scared the schnitzel out of me). How the frik are you supposed to get rid of a fear like that. I know they don't exist....
3) Commitment. We've talked about this before. It's starting to become more of an issue.
4) Losing my mind. In both the crazy sense and the dementia sense. I like my mind very much.
5) Socialness. When I meet people that I really like I get so ridiculously stressed out. I want them to like me, but I just can tell I'm giving a horrible impression. Then, even if I'm not, I get so freaked out that I start to. This is why people shouldn't take me out in public....

I know it's healthy to conquer our fears.
I really don't think I want to work at these though.
Well, maybe the socialness one, because I may be able to do somehting about it.
1) There is no way I'm seekeing frekken professional help for my fear of spiders. Ludicrous.
2) Once again, how the frik....
3) I'm happy with not committing, what's the big deal?
4) I'm not gonna just accept the fact that I might one day be unable to think. I just can't do it.
So I'm not gonna stop being afraid of these things. I'm glad we have that settled.

I had a lot of fun this eve hanging out with Deanna and her underlings, and the guys. It's good to get out of the house. I'm hoping to avoid parentals most of tomorrow...

I was less horribly ill today. I'm really reeeeeealllllly hoping that the LOTR marathon is an awesome time. I'll make it an awesome time, whether it likes it or not!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009


You know when you are expecting something to impress you, and then it just doesn't?

I've gotten 2 severe cases of that in the past 3 hours.
1: Night at the Roxbury. I was expecting something much more funny. It's overrated
2: Radiohead. It's very monotonous to listen to. They all sound very similar. The songs are tech-based and super-produced, which is something I generally avoid. I appreciate more honest sound, if that makes any sense.

I get (have) to make supper tonight. We're having bacon and crepes. I can't cook anything else safely....

Vaguely connected verse

Living in a world of wishes
Turns out I'm almost superstitious
If I had or didn't have
Then somehow I'd be free

But isn't free a state of mind?
Leave the seeing to the blind
Only the mute can say
What they really mean.

Thankful for the prison walls
Resigned when the jailer calls
What use can I have
For wistful curiosity?

Glassy mirror-minded stare
Is there anything else in there?
Nothing that you think
Is worth duplicacy

Lamps and bulbs cannot do justice
To the sun or crystal's brightness
The ecstatic rest
Means he is free.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

A lovely little story

I overheard this evening from my brother how he met his girlfriend. (The awesome one with the baby, not the Evil Bible School Chick). I thought you might like to hear it because it made me happy.

He was just leaving Vancouver. He had walked around the city with no sleep for the past 3 days, and had managed to hitchhike to a place on the highway where the road split and he was on the side that was going the wrong direction. It joined up with its other half about 7km down the road so he walked out there. There was a little town just ahead called Hope, BC. He saw a girl on the other side of the road trying to hitch a ride. A car stopped, but from what he could tell the person was going the wrong way because the girl stepped away and continued to walk down the road in the direction he had just come from. Knowing that the 7km stretch where it was impossible to get a ride was coming up, he caught up with her on the edge of town and apparently suggested they travel together. After about 2 hours of walking they managed to catch a truck going the right way and my brother got in the back seat and the girl was in the front. Within a half hour he was asleep. I'm guessing that was pretty weird for the driver and Monique because he wasn't connected with her in any way. He had been awake for 3 or so days hanging out with homeless people though, so give him a break. Anyway, it turned out her car had just broken down. They got back to it somehow and drove the rest of the way out to Ontario in it. And then they were here, and Monique got pregnant, and the baby's middle name is Hope, because that's where they met.

Cute eh? The part where my brother was hanging out in Vancouver with homeless people was pretty interesting too. He says that homeless people give the best tours of cities. I'll keep that in mind when I travel, actually. I may have to take anti-mugging precautions though.

I liked lying in the dark on my couch (headache avoidance tactic) and listening to my brother tell his stories. It was relaxing but it makes me seem so flaky. I need to live a less posh life, but I have my horse and my schooling to worry about.

Anyhow, I thought the story was cute. They're heading out across Canada to Vancouver, and from Vancouver to San Diego, and from there to Melbourne, Australia. I want to go visit them in November or so if they're settled there and all that. If I have $...

Saturday, May 2, 2009

What do you think?

This is just what I've written in respect to the book idea. I know it's a little weird. I think it's stylistically similar to the blog, but it assumes the person hasn't read anything of my previous writing or ideas or w/e. I think it comes out fairly clear. I don't know if I mean for this bit to be a starting or introduction, but I'm sure it would work as that. It needs refining still, but I'm reasonably happy with it. Here you are:

There is a “first principle” on which i base all of my ideas and propositions. This principle is that reality is independent of human perception. From this one belief all my other ideals and convictions flow in a lucidly logical manner.

In the side of my mind there is a thought that says I should say my belief in the existence of God is my first principle, but that would not be true. What is the point of writing this all if I’m going to posture as some nun, so secure in this existence that to find someone who does not believe is a staggering shock? No, my belief or knowledge or faith in God’s existence comes secondarily. His existence is something that I once needed proved. He has proved himself, but that is another story altogether. My first principal would, however, indicate the existence of a being greater than humans on whom reality can depend.

I think the best thing to come out of this first principal is that it means the collective consciousness of humans is not all there is to the world. I think this is beautiful from a creative aspect, because that means humanity can reach outside of itself for inspiration, both artistically and emotionally. If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, it will still make a noise because the universe, the entire material and metaphysical world, will vibrate with its movement.

When I think of the universe, there is a lot that passes through my mind. I think of what we can see through telescopes, of course, and the vastness of the galaxies sprawling indefinitely through space. I think of time, and the lack of it, and the movement of it, and the meaninglessness of it. I think of the possibilities also. What other dimensions exist without human perception? Because of the first principle, it is possible that they exist. I read (in Wikipedia, the genius-est thing ever) about hypercubes once. They are “four-dimensional” objects. People can’t actually make them, or even see them because our bodies can only occupy three dimensions. They’ve made concept drawings of them, though, in 2D, and they’re really a lovely concept, string theory and all that. One of the lines that struck me, though, is that these things could exist, but we would only perceive them as cubes. The analogy given was that a sphere appears as a circle of varying sizes as it passes through a 2 dimensional plane.

The universe is thus, in my mind, full of endless possibility, endless dimensionality, and is a wonderful place indeed. There is only one universe, but there may be multiple “space”s, if that makes sense. The stars and planets and all that could be duplicated in the same universe.

If you have any comments for encouragement or adjustments I should make, or disagreement with the material itself, let me know because if you read this silly blog you probably rock.