Monday, March 28, 2011

Some days I'm ok with being alive where and how I am. Today was one of those days.
I had a lovely evening out last night with the young adults group from the church I go to. We had mad airsoft-ing for like two hours and it's the first time I've felt comfortable in a group of people my own age for a very long time. I did say some things which I now wish I hadn't, but I'm doing what I can to move past that.

Today I went grocery shopping (yay food!) and watched internet tv with the roomie, and then went to my invertebrates lab and had a weirdly fun time with the guy who sits across from me, just goofing around. I made two new facebook friends and went rock climbing with my rock climbing buddy.

And now I'm sitting here eating banana chips and delaying my studying. I have 12 hours till one exam and 19 hours till another one. I suppose I'll get cracking.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Lieutenant-General Roméo Dallaire

I shook hands with him this evening. It's one of my favourite days of my life.

He was speaking a the University of Waterloo on the future of humanity and the social and political challenges that our generation faces.

It makes me love Africa again to hear him speak. There was one slide he put up of the Ntarama Church Genocide Memorial (if you want to be sad, Google images that) and it brought back this rush of sadness and desperation and conviction that I had when I was standing there looking at the rows and rows of lives destroyed by hate. It was a mix of nausea and heartache, and suddenly I want to try again. I want to help. I want to love people.

The things I do with my life can matter. Finally, something that is not meaningless.

The Lieutenant-General has beautiful eyes, too.

I will fall asleep thinking about Ntarama tonight, and that is a good thing.

Hugh Jackman

I discovered today that when people google Hugh Jackman, somewhere in the 6,440,000 results is a link to my blog.

That is all.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

I had mentioned that I had more to say. Nothing of lasting value really, but just news and thoughts as per usual.

In the past few weeks since my parents have been in Florida I've been able to go to a Bible study with people my age at the church I go to. I've enjoyed it much more than I anticipated, but now that my parents are coming back I won't be able to go anymore. I won't be able to go to church either, because now I work every weekend, and probably every Sunday. It's just kind of disheartening to make all that painful social progress and then it's all for nothing because I can't see those people any more. Grar.

The job thing has me in a right state. I start this Sunday morning and I'm panicking a tiny bit about the people issue. I'm just gonna keep reminding myself that I know how to deal with these people and that smiling is helpful in all situations.

There have been a lot of high school students kicking around the university for tours the past few days. If only I could warn them...

I am happy to have nice weather again, I suppose. I'm a bit scared of the spring, because I'm in a social position that is unfamiliar. I don't know what I'll be doing over the summer aside from working, and it's scary to think that I actually might just not have friends to be around. I'm avoiding thinking about it, of course, but the therapist lady keeps telling me to plan ahead and that I need to organize things so that I'm not isolated. I just really don't wanna right now.

On the brighter side of life, our Wildlife Nutrition professor is a spectacularly good human being. Robo-Kitty is good company. Spring is finally FINALLY here, and even if I have nothing to look forward to particularly, the warm weather will cheer me up.

Happy Green Day!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

So time passes and it's another Wednesday. This week has been busy and I haven't felt up to much of anything but sleep. I'm drinking a coffee now to psych myself up for anxiety group but after my presentation this evening I'm looking forward to just crashing.

On to music time!

New Music: Friday by Rebecca Black. This song is just so irresistibly cute and catchy! Love!

BAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!! Just kidding! Hoooooooooo man. What a terrible song!

For seriously now: For What It's Worth by Buffalo Springfield. This, you should note, is new to me, but is an old song. It was on the Forrest Gump soundtrack, which I recently listened to properly for the first time. Enjoy the relaxing sounds of the past.

Also new to me: How You Like Me Now by The Heavy. This song just rocks so magnificently. This is a live performance, which I usually disapprove of, but the guy is really an entertainer, and it sounds almost the same as the recording. And in response to your question, sir, I like you a lot now.

Old Favourite: Airplanes by The Local Natives. I found this band when I was trying to look up the song Cecilia by Simon and Garfunkel and these kids did it better than the old pros themselves. This summer I bought their album from iTunes and it's probably one of the best albums I've ever heard. This song and World News are my favourites, but the rest are on my list of top 100 songs as well. Just close your eyes and think of someone you miss.

Canadiana: American Woman by The Guess Who. Canada actually pwned at music during the '70s, but no one had really figured it out. I just love this song. I love hearing it on the radio and singing along at the top of my voice. That guitar riff? Mmmmmmmmmmmelt into a groovy little jellyfish.

HodgePodge: The Sea by Final Fantasy. Some people have expressed derision for this artist, but I will not be moved from my love for him. He's a poet, and those don't come around often these days. (I'd like to interrupt this message to let you know that my coffee tastes like cigarette butts. Ick.) His lyrics are true, and his orchestration makes me happy outside and sad inside. My other favourite of his is Peach Plum Pear.

Don't Stop by Fleetwood Mac. There's no way to listen to this and be really sad. It's made my tear up a few times over the past few months, but in a good, "I'm not gonna give up" way. "It'll be better than before. Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone."

I have more to say, but I've got to scurry off to my anxiety group thing. I'm gonna try to remember to jot down a few things before the weekend.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Wednesday Musics!

On a Thursday again. Hah. This one was at least planned and started on a Wednesday. I've been thinking about a few of these for a while. Ok! Here we go!

New: Paper Scratcher by Blind Melon. I actually just found this one on my iPod this morning and it made me happy. I've had Blind Melon kicking around for a while but this is just more goodness that I hadn't known before. I think it caught my mood off guard this morning. I was very happy about the spring time.

Good times: One by One by The Black Seeds. I find that whenever I feel like crap these guys pop up on my iTunes shuffle and they make me smile no matter what. This is actually Bret Mackenzie before Flight of the Conchords and I have no idea which I like better. This is just good feeling all the way through. Also, an actual music vid!

Canadians: Sweet Things by Danny Michel. I thank Stuart McLean for this, as for so many other things. This man is just like musical Cheerios: reassuring, delicious, and inherently healthy! He's never made a bad song! The album this is from sounds like a glorious camping trip. I like this song especially because of the nostalgia thing it has going on. (I can't find the album version! Sadface! This live one will have to do but SRSLY you gotta find the album one.)

Old Happies: Bloody Well Right by Supertramp. Funkiest song in history. End of story. (I apologise for the ABOMINATION of a video. If you don't already have this song on your iTunes I suggest you put it there without clicking play on this youtube vid. I want to slap the youtube community for not posting a better version.)

Nobody Knows Me At All by The Weepies. I found this through Esther, which is funny because generally I'm the one that likes 'sad' music and she likes 'happy' music. Hurrah for opposites though because this song is so very nice.

I declare this terrible video week. I promise it won't happen again.

Today was a good day. I got to make a lot of beautiful graphs.
Two medical appointments tomorrow.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Please Note:
If you are planning to read "To Kill A Mockingbird", make sure it is during a time when you have a few hours to think it out afterwards.

Maybe this phenomenon is peculiar to me, but I get so absorbed in books that they actually affect me more than the majority of real-life experiences. It's because I completely forget my own existence when I'm reading; all that exists is the world in the book.

I've read "To Kill A Mockingbird" before. It was a long time ago and I had a lot of the characters and events confused. I didn't re-read the whole thing again, but I got all the events straightened in my mind. Atticus Finch is, in my consideration, a perfectly constructed character. He isn't only an ideal, like Javert in Les Mis or Esmerelda in Notre Dame, he is also a human. Somewhere at the bottom of my mind I know I believe he's real.

I can't really think of anything else to say. The world is stupid, beautiful place, and for the first time in a few weeks I'm almost happy I'm part of it. Less grar, more sigh.

*Edited to add*: Every time I make food and it is edible, I feel like some sort of Olympian. Frik yes this cheese bread will destroy your mind and you'll thank it!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Music Suggestion Day!

I'm gonna try to do this every week on Wednesday. That's not going to be entirely reliable (observe that I'm writing this on a Thursday), but I'll do what I can. I will try to include something that is new to me, an old favourite, something Canadian, and a few other treats that I think are of note at that time. Because there is no really splendid way of getting these to your tasty little ears, I'm going to embed Youtube vids for all of them so that you can listen straight from the page.

Here we go!

New to me: Upside Down by Paloma Faith
I had actually been introduced to this chickie by a friend of mine a while ago, but she didn't really catch my fancy at the time. This song, however, I found on my wee sister's iTunes and it's so darn catchy that I couldn't resist it. Her voice is a bit tokenly weird, but I like the artistry a lot.

Old Fave: Baba O'Riley by The Who
There's nothing in all the world that rocks quite like this song. The construction of the music alone is a marvel. The sentiment behind the words is what always makes me smile, though. Don't worry, it's only teenage wasteland :)

Canadians: Political by Spirit of the West
This could just have easily been in the "New to me" category, because I just heard it this morning on CBC radio 2 (three cheers!). I was caught off guard by it. I was expecting twangy horrible Canadian country-ness, but this is what I got. It's a sort of British/Canadian/folk kind of mixture, and I like the story. Also, this man is reassuringly good at singing!

Stuff I just plain like: Sweet Dreams by Eurythmics
This song is just everlastingly catchy. If it doesn't make you wriggle with dancy-ness, then I'm afraid you're a robot. Simple. I was going to post the music video but then it sucked, hah.

White Knuckles by Ok Go
This is a weird little walnut here. On one hand, Ok Go has never made anything of lasting musical notice. On the other hand, they aren't abominable, and their music videos are 100% entertaining 100% of the time. They trapped me on Youtube for a day just watching and re-watching their music videos. This one is the cutest, but I don't know about the best.

My Girl Bill by Jim Stafford
I could really do a whole separate section for musical comedy. I've always loved songs that make me smile or laugh and this man is truly awesome at what he does. I know, however, that it's not everyone's cup of tea. The video makes the whole thing a bit awkward, IMO. Some other comic musicians that I especially like include Ray Stevens, Flight of the Conchords, and Tom Lehrer.

Ok so I'm going to go to bed now. All that music hunting has made me happy.