Wednesday, July 27, 2011

I'm gonna lose a lot of readers here

I need to get this out of my system, though, so brace yourselves.

I detest, abhor, loathe, deplore, deride, scorn, spurn and HATE Americanism.
You call yourselves the land of the free, but you fail to recognize true freedom does not include freedom from logic and freedom from responsibility. BEING right is different from CREATING right. You owe the international community preposterous amount of money but still walk around with a look of disdain for all other countries, as if they owe you something. How come the only part of your constitution you know is that you have the right to bear arms and freedom of speech? Don't you realize that this makes you loud-mouthed twats who shoot each other for minor disagreements? Being pig-headed is not being brave or just or righteous; it is just childish. Thus, Americans, let go of this foolish pride you have in yourselves. Accept your weaknesses for what they are. It is not a terrible thing to admit you are wrong. Humility is the real mark of strength and learning is for the intelligent. Not all Americans share these crimes. There is yet hope.

Sorry about all that. I was stuck in a logical deadlock with a man today at work. He valued himself more as an American than he valued himself as a person. If he had not been American, he would not be worthwhile, and no non-Americans are worthwhile either. I'm afraid that I must, for lack of any other sufficient term, call him a completely glorious asshole. It was all I could do to prevent myself from flying at him in a rage.

On a happier note, thesaurus! and G. K. Chesterton! and food!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

I've had a weird couple of days.

On Saturday I worked and then a friend and I hung out and watched Death at a Funeral, which was delicious. Upon returning to my home, I discovered and subsequently lost a centipede in Sparta, so I 'slept' on the couch with all of the lights on.
I went to church on Sunday morning with my mother and sister and grandma, who has Alzheimer's and was very cranky. It was a strange church called Lakeside. It was like going to a terrible youth convention with all of the money spent on ludicrous multimedia and the pastor wearing a shirt that showed off his pecs well but didn't help me focus on the sermon any. I did not like it. I would say that it reminded me of all the things I didn't like about church/religion. We did, however, randomly meet up with an older couple from my parents' church there and had lunch with them at a cute little restaurant just outside the city. The man, Len, taught me Sunday School as a kid and had been my coach when I was in Bible Quizzing, and has been a big influence on me. It was lovely to catch up and get to know him again, this time as an equal and not so much as a superior.
Sunday evening was spent in the pleasant company of a friend. We went on a field trip to Chapters, where I spent some of my precious monies on something I did not need, but with which I am very pleased.
On Monday evening I had a pie and programming session with a person from the Internet, which was delicious and awesome.
Yesterday I worked, of course. I met a new person, who is only going to be there for two weeks, and he is a "super-Christian", like me. I feel like an absolutely terrible person next to him, because of my potty mouth and inability to assert that I believe in God as He is. This makes me feel bad, which I assume is healthy, so I believe I will attempt to ask the new kid out on a church date. Updates to follow.
I wrote an exam this morning which I should have failed, but I believe I just barely squeaked by with like a fifty-something. No justice at all in this lifetime.

I guess, reading that all back to myself, that the events of the last few days have not been peculiar. Something in my mind has been, though. I feel detached from reality and detached from myself, if that is a legit thing to feel. I feel vaguely non-existent. As always, I know how to fix it, but it remains to be seen whether I can convince myself that it's worthwhile.

This coming Saturday night I'm planning to hang out in the Arbouretum with a thermos of Bailey's and look at the trees and the sky. Visitors welcome!

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Big News!

The podcast is up and running!
My dear friend T and I have started a podcast to talk about Youtube, poops, and zombies! Our thrilling first episode can be found at ! We are very proud, and wish very much to mildly entertain you all.

That was all of my truly big news. Now for some small news: I am in love with the song Northwest Passage by Stan Rogers. I'm getting into this weird folk music kick and I'm loving it! I can't stop singing the chorus of this song; it hits me in a good place.

Ah, for just one time I would take the Northwest Passage
To find the hand of Franklin reaching for the Beaufort Sea;
Tracing one warm line through a land so wild and savage
And make a Northwest Passage to the sea.

I've been thinking a lot today about honesty, and about how I'm not very good at it. At some point soon I'm going to have to start owning up to what I really believe. I think it may cost me friends, but I think I'm almost in a place where I can handle that. Perhaps if I can do all of my personality reformatting while I'm on drugs the consequences won't be as painful. I advise those of you who know me best to keep your ears open for startling revelations in the near future, and beg you not to disown me for them.

Tracing one warm line through a land so wild and savage

Go listen to The MES with T and B! GO NOW!

Saturday, July 2, 2011

The Man

The hypothetical being, I mean. The concept of "they".

He's not concerned with individuals, he's concerned with the aggregate beast we call society - the populace. When a person attempts to stick it to The Man, he accepts his sticking quietly, and then makes advertising revenue off of the video the person posts on Youtube.
We are The Man. We know this. The Man is all the greed, envy, ambition, and malice of our collective. We have decided that there's no way an individual could be responsible for all of the problems we see in the world, so we blame it on the numinous concept of Society. This Society concept is a lie. There is no separate organism to blame for this, there is only the individual - The Man. The Man who does anything to have his life made a shade easier, a touch more pleasant.
There's no such thing as a rebellion that is truly for the good of a group of people. Everyone is just in it for their own gain, trying to grab something that will get them just ahead of their neighbour, their brother, their friend. We can't be truly free of the corporate warlord or immune to the seduction of power until we are entirely selfless. If we give without grudge or expectation, then how can we be robbed? If we hold our hands open, how can something be torn away from us? If we learn to be thankful for what we are given, why would we ever envy what isn't ours.
It is not a matter of destroying The Man, but recreating him as a new Man.