Sunshine and caffeine have rendered my mood nigh ecstatic this morning.

Funnily enough, after working in a coffee shop all night, my tummy is making noises like coffee brewing. Is it secretly a parrot?

I thought about things on the bus home that may be work mentioning.
If I'm so ridiculously happy just because of a little bit of coffee, why don't I take meds to keep me in a decent mood all the time? Not even strong meds would be needed. I could just hop myself up on caffeine any time except when sleeping is needed.
Then I remembered the Local Natives, and my song of choice for the summer, "World News":
The bad feeling bad makes the good so good.

I suppose being in a state of constant cheeriness would be ok. I don't think I would miss my grumpy or mopey times. I think that the fun would wear off eventually. I think that my friends would be annoyed also, or I hope they would be. I like to think that my friends enjoy the fact that I"m a cynical jerk most of the time, and they would be confused if I suddenly went mad bubbly.

Other thing: My sister is getting married in 9 days. We won't see each other much after this week, I don't think. She will be in western Canada, and I will be first here and then Africa. We've never had much in common, and we haven't lived together for 3 years now. Do I feel like I will miss her?
I hope we can at least enjoy our week as sisters before she's off being a wife to NeckBeard, who I will likely have to refer to as a human being after the wedding.

I will miss my brother more than her, I think. He has been around the past few years. He is moving to BC after his wedding in September. Both the wee sister and I are going to miss having him and his nutty friends around with their explosives and drunk canoeing. I don't like the Bible School Chick. I wish he was with someone as deep as he is. Not my place to say though.

If any people at the wedding (grandparents, cousins, etc) make jokes about me being next, I'm going to laugh politely, say something vague, and take my rage out on a bottle of scotch after the reception.

Vietnam
Fishing trips
Italian Opera

Firefly

I watched the entire series over the past few days, and then the follow up movie "Serenity"

In spite of all of the acclaim that nerds have heaped upon the series, I agree with the network's decision to cancel the show. I think that most of the outrage at its cancellation was founded in the fact that the final episode did not conclude any of the story arcs in progress.

The movie, which was supposed to pick up where the series left off, created further problems and anger. Time had moved forward but the characters had moved backward. I had almost started to like the lead character in the series, but in the movie they started back on square one and did not let him develop at all in the whole miserable 90 minutes. As a stand-alone, the film is not bad. As a continuation of the series, it is disappointing. It feels rushed and incomplete.

The series, had it been allowed to continue, would have jumped the shark in the 4th season. The writers would have tried to stretch out the story line they had (which wasn't bad) over too long a time and filled it all in with annoying patter and twatter and unnecessary, ineffectual plot twists. That, or I'm a hopeless pessimist and they would have done it properly. The whole story should have been well-developed, well-paced, and neatly wrapped up in 30 episodes (2 seasons + 2 episodes).

Most of the acting irked me, and I didn't like most of the characters until well into the 6th episode (and none at all in the film). I did not like the idea of "space western"ism and the theme song drives me nuts.

I will say, however, that the plot was a good beginning. There were a few spectacular lines about lions and killing people.

I have killed time in worse ways than this.

In other news! lemon poppyseed muffins are the shizzzzz!

Sitting in sunshine by a river, watching fish and crayfish, and talking about the past and the future.

What if I choose to remember only the good stuff in life? Does that make me ignorant or something?

If all I remember of yesterday was the sunshine and the pancakes and lounging on the couch, I'm very happy with it.

If I remember the headache and the boredom and the time I wasted, I'm much less happy with it.

I like the idea, of course, but I'm worried a strategy like this will make me shallow.
But happy.

First I should probably determine if it is even possible.

Final Four

The memories of a man in his old age
Are the deeds of a man in his prime.
You shuffle in gloom of the sickroom
And talk to yourself as you die.

Life is a short, warm moment
And death is a long cold rest.
You get your chance to try in the twinkling of an eye:
Eighty years, with luck, or even less.

So all aboard for the American tour,
And maybe you'll make it to the top.
And mind how you go, and I can tell you, 'cause I know
You may find it hard to get off.

You are the angel of death
And I am the dead man's son.
And he was buried like a mole in a fox hole.
And everyone is still on the run.

And who is the master of fox hounds?
And who says the hunt has begun?
And who calls the tune in the courtroom?
And who beats the funeral drum?

The memories of a man in his old age
Are the deeds of a man in his prime.
You shuffle in gloom in the sickroom
And talk to yourself as you die.

- Pink Floyd

The only inhabitants of this Jam Haus that don't seem bothered by the heat are covered in fur (that is Robo-Kitty and the rat buddies)

Ridiculous.

I can't sleep properly with this horrible sticky stuffyness. Can't study properly at all. If I fail Cell Bio I will be very sad but not at all surprised.

I want very much to quit Tim Hoes, but I've just lost a tutoring student so I really can't afford to.

Better keep your hand right on that plough.
Hold on
Hold on
Hold on.

so um

I've decided to switch majors. And career paths.

I will be taking Wildlife Biology instead of Animal Science.

I will no longer be going to vet school.

Please don't see this as me giving up because it's too hard. That's only part of it.
If I really want something, I'm willing to put the work into getting it. For a while, I thought being a vet was what I wanted ultimately. I still would like it, I think, but it turns out that I don't want to be miserable for the next 6 years of my life just to be rich in the final 15 of it. Also, I don't want to be stuck in North America.

What basically happened is this: I was walking outdoors (I should never make decisions outdoors) and thought about how happy I was to be out there. I slowly realized that whenever I am outside, I am much more emotionally stable and generally happy. Then I realized that my chosen career path would not let me go outside enough. I lamented this and once again longed to live in a tree. A friend had recently been blogging on setting goals and taking control of your future and so forth. "Where are you going to be in 5 years" and all that. It hit me that in 5 years, I want to live in a tree (I am completely serious about this), to still be learning science, and to be helping Africa any way I can. I texted my friend (to whom I owe a significant part of my current happiness and future poverty) and discussed what I could possibly do to get where I wanted to be.

And then my awesome roomie met me at the lib. We ended up chatting about it and it turns out Wildlife Biology lets you live in trees and study animals! Apparently you can live in Algonquin Park and count birds and get paid! When we got home from the library we researched what courses I would have to take and everything works out for my fall schedule. I'm still a bit giddy about this whole decision. I would like to say, though, that my awesome roomie is awesome and there are no words to describe the awesome of which my roomie is the embodiment.

There are some things I am sad about in this decision. My parents are going to laugh at me. My mother is going to basically say "I told you so, you couldn't do it all along." I'm not telling them about it until I graduate. I'm giving up a very specific dream, too. I hoped that after vet school I could move to Rwanda and teach animal husbandry or proper agricultural practices to people who needed/wanted it. I won't have those skills now. But I'm still going to help Africa somehow. If I can't move there myself, I'll live on as little money as possible while making as much money as possible and donate every cent I can to something that will help. On that point I am solidly determined.

Also nice: I no longer need to worry about what marks I actually get. So long as I don't fail. Speaking of which.... I need to try not to fail biochemistry, so I'm going to go work on my lab report.

To all of you who may be disappointed in me for so drastically lowering my goals: screw you.
Do you not love me?
Do you not want me to be happy?
Do you not think I will enjoy every second of being in nature and in Africa?

Nature and Africa: two things for which I have an actual passion.

Frikken Dostoyevsky.
He actually believed in things and had morals, and it shows. All of his stories have moral motivations and bases.
Makes me seem like such a ninny.

People who can't tell how much I lie make me feel bad.
Stop believing what I say.
Stop being so bloody easy to razzle-dazzle.
If it didn't work I wouldn't keep doing it.





Or I could, you know, grow some morals...

I have consumed more scotch this weekend than I thought possible.
It has not been bad.
Climbing a tree while tipsy: not clever, but worth it.
I've sorted out some things unexpectedly.
Yes, I will always be miserable in school and also probably when I have a job. But I'm using what I have to try making the world a better place. If God accounts for trying, I should end up reasonably happy.
I have a very short attention span for people. When I get them a bit figured out and see where they're headed with things, they lose a lot of their interest. If I've known you for a long time and still hang out with you, consider it a compliment that I enjoy who you are enough to continue hanging out after the "getting to know" phase has gone away.

If this post was a bit scattered blame the fact that I am tired and have a very sore liver...