I've decided to switch majors. And career paths.
I will be taking Wildlife Biology instead of Animal Science.
I will no longer be going to vet school.
Please don't see this as me giving up because it's too hard. That's only part of it.
If I really want something, I'm willing to put the work into getting it. For a while, I thought being a vet was what I wanted ultimately. I still would like it, I think, but it turns out that I don't want to be miserable for the next 6 years of my life just to be rich in the final 15 of it. Also, I don't want to be stuck in North America.
What basically happened is this: I was walking outdoors (I should never make decisions outdoors) and thought about how happy I was to be out there. I slowly realized that whenever I am outside, I am much more emotionally stable and generally happy. Then I realized that my chosen career path would not let me go outside enough. I lamented this and once again longed to live in a tree. A friend had recently been blogging on setting goals and taking control of your future and so forth. "Where are you going to be in 5 years" and all that. It hit me that in 5 years, I want to live in a tree (I am completely serious about this), to still be learning science, and to be helping Africa any way I can. I texted my friend (to whom I owe a significant part of my current happiness and future poverty) and discussed what I could possibly do to get where I wanted to be.
And then my awesome roomie met me at the lib. We ended up chatting about it and it turns out Wildlife Biology lets you live in trees and study animals! Apparently you can live in Algonquin Park and count birds and get paid! When we got home from the library we researched what courses I would have to take and everything works out for my fall schedule. I'm still a bit giddy about this whole decision. I would like to say, though, that my awesome roomie is awesome and there are no words to describe the awesome of which my roomie is the embodiment.
There are some things I am sad about in this decision. My parents are going to laugh at me. My mother is going to basically say "I told you so, you couldn't do it all along." I'm not telling them about it until I graduate. I'm giving up a very specific dream, too. I hoped that after vet school I could move to Rwanda and teach animal husbandry or proper agricultural practices to people who needed/wanted it. I won't have those skills now. But I'm still going to help Africa somehow. If I can't move there myself, I'll live on as little money as possible while making as much money as possible and donate every cent I can to something that will help. On that point I am solidly determined.
Also nice: I no longer need to worry about what marks I actually get. So long as I don't fail. Speaking of which.... I need to try not to fail biochemistry, so I'm going to go work on my lab report.
To all of you who may be disappointed in me for so drastically lowering my goals: screw you.
Do you not love me?
Do you not want me to be happy?
Do you not think I will enjoy every second of being in nature and in Africa?
Nature and Africa: two things for which I have an actual passion.