Friday, October 30, 2009

I have things to say

Most of them are nonsensical.

Most of them have to do with books.

Most of them resulted from the X-Large timmie's coffee i had at work tonight. May I say that the buzz has been productive! I only got off shift an hour ago and I've cleaned my room, gotten my laundry going, changed my sheets, and am now blogging. Hurrah!

Ok so, thoughts:

I have just finished reading Oliver Twist (Charles Dickens) for the second time. That being said, I skipped all the parts about people who weren't Oliver. I reserve the right to skip through books.

This made me think about how different writers use their peripheral characters.

Dickens is a happy ending kinda of guy. Mostly. He likes everyone to be happy except for one person who dies. In "The Old Curiosity Shop" 2 people died, but I think we can all agree that was the only plausible ending. In the "Tale of Two Cities", Sydney Carton gets offed so that everyone else can have a happy ending. In this one, it was just this random kid that Oliver knew from his childhood and I honestly believe that he was inserted to make the reader cry, so that the book wasn't too over-the-top-ly perfect. Also, all the little street rat guys that Oliver meets just confuse me. I can never remember who is who, except the Artful Dodger, because that is an awesome name. Anyway, I think that the peripheral characters are kind of like story props for Dickens. "I want to make them sad a little too so they won't realize this is a rags-to-riches stor that has been done like 100000 times before. I could have the kid die.... No, no. That would be TOO sad, and I've done that once before anyway. Ooh, what if his only childhood friend dies? But I don't have space in the plot for a bff. Ok, well, he can say nice things to Ollie as they separate and then when lil' Twist goes back to the hometown for the finale, he will search for his best friend Dick (just like me!) and find out the poor kid died! Perfect!"
It's not that I think Dickens is silly or anything, it's just that one thing that bothered me.

All that being said, Dickens is one cheeky little snot. Hates doctors and magistrates and rich people and foster parents and the government and basically EVERYONE except for the ones who live lives of piety in crime filled slums. He's very sarcastic about it all, and it makes me giggle.

Now, I want to compare this to Victor Hugo. If Dickens is sarcastic, Hugo is morose. He uses his supporting characters as target practice. He starts with the least important ones and works up to the lead characters and just picks them off with gallows, guillotines, cliffs, fights, illness, starvation, etc. Thoroughly depressing. Somehow, though, it doesn't feel like he puts those characters in to get an emotional reaction. His writing style makes a reader feel like those people, although they weren't central to the book's plot, they were central to a plot of a different story, and just happened to get squished by this other story. I think the main difference here is that Hugo fattens up his characters before butchering them. They seem more like actual characters and people and you really do mourn their loss because many times they're real. Real in the sense that throughout the course of history there have been many people who had this very thing happen to them. Hugo will write a peripheral character who did not exist, but represents a body of people who lived under similar circumstances. The characters' needs, pains, wishes, losses, and deaths are sad because of the thousands that they represent. I want to give the example of the random old man in the book "Les Miserables". He's starving to death because he has no pension, and his son won't speak to him. He's too proud to beg and he's too old to work. He's selling off all his possessions one by one to buy the food he needs to live just one more day. Finally, all he has left is one book: his favourite. He goes out in the morning to sell it, knowing that the meal he buys will be the last meal he will eat. He doesn't actually die of starvation, though! Happy news, eh? He's shot instead :P. Thanks for the happy ending, Hugo.

Sometimes I think that Hugo could let a few more of them live, you know? Like in the Hunchback of Notre-Dame, did you reallly reeeeealllly have to kill Esmerelda's mother too? Honestly, you got all the main characters. Sheesh.

Anyway, I don't know whether I prefer having peripheral characters made for emotional manipulation or social caricature. I think I might prefer the Hugo approach. I need to read more of both him and Dickens before being certain.

Here are some other thoughts:

My friend is moving away from Elmira, and I don't know what I shall doooooo! She's moving to a pretty awesome place though. Her uncle has thes awesome old house in K-town and she's got this adorable little room with slanty ceilings and crawlspaces! I love it!

I've also figured out what exactly the plan is for when I move back to Guelph and I'm really pumped about it!!! Woooo!!!!

And my friend from camp is returning from New York (state) so we're going to hang out with him on Sunday!

And tomorrow is HALLOWEEN!!!!

HALLOWEEN + Schildroth + Living Arrangements + Addea's new place + my IKEA party + coffee = A Very Happy Becca.

I love you all. May something awesome happen to you today!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

I enjoy writing little songs and poems.
They are mostly crappy.
But at least I'm having fun!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

My Bday

This year is going to ROCK!
If everything works out.

My dear friend Calvin met for a quick cup of tea and chatting and planning. One of the things that came up randomly was having a fancy party in IKEA. And we couldn't figure out when to do it so...

My bday party this year will be held in IKEA in Mississauga. Full day event, either on the 21st or 28th. Scavenger hunts, costumes, dance-offs to the ALICE ALICE GET MORE PIE song, and much, much more!

You have no idea how excited I am to do something stupid again! I'ts been so long!

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Oh, Quebec!

I’m waiting for the train. First time I’ve ever had to.
I freaked out when I got ere this morning because I thought they would do checked baggage here, but apparently Guelph is too hick for that. Oh well. It will work out alright.

I’m happy I have my lappity top-top (that’s what my little sister calls it). I can listen to music once I’m on the train. I’m totally gonna sleep for the first like 3 hours to Toronto though. I was up late last night watching The Italian Job again (3rd time this week) and I was up early this morning to get here.

My dad says one meets interesting people on a train, and so I’m currently scoping out the prospects. There’s an older lady sitting down just across from me in the station here. She’s dressed nicely in black and has that peculiar “old fashionable lady” look going on. She asked the ticket guy about parking and whether the train was on time and old person-y stuff like that. There’s a student aged girl at the window right now, trying to figure out student pricing stuff. She looks like she’s going to Toronto for the day. I think most of these people would just be going to the T-dot. The older lady just greeted a gentleman who came in. This seems to be a small world, THis station is tiny and kind of grungy, but I like it.
A grey haired middle aged lady just sat down in an antisocial manner facing away from me. She looks a bit stressed. I think she’s traveling further than TO because she’s checking out the map of Canada on the wall. Actually, she reminds me of my mom in some way and it scares me. The previously mentioned gentleman (who is actually just an older dude with a backpack) seems to b traveling with her.

I wish I had net access here. It displays a whole bunch of networks, but all of them are locked. Some of the names are pretty funny, like “terrorists”.

Thus far I’m thoroughly pleased at the lack of security. No horrible lines, no having to take off your shoes and belts (if I took off my belt, my pants would likely fall off. they’re on the large side). This may be my newest officially endorsed mode of transportation. My only other officially endorsed modes of transport are stowing away and road trips, neither of which are easy. Here is a helpful table (I included sailing because that’s got a bid in for endorsement):


(Sorry that the quality is a bit crap. I had to make it a picture because Blogger can't handle tables.)
So you can guess the mode of transport on my next trip.... And you can see why sailing is not yet officially endorsed (I really like that word. Endorsed. Heh.).

Anyway, I’m going to preserve battery for later...s

Later:
I am now on the train and I love it. It stops a lot though.
As soon as I closed my laptop i the station, things got interesting. Or rather, the people did. There was this older fellow, around 50 or 60 I think, and he was clearly a character. He looked like the hero of “The Catcher in the Rye” all growed up. He had this hair that had ben styled all floppy over in the front, and aviator glasses, and a knee length brown wool jacket. He had a peculiar walk; shuffling and light at the same time. He kept pacing around the station as if he was being followed...
There was also a kid about my age and his mom. He smelled good (he sat right behind me) and had the same headphones as I do! I felt bad for the mom though, because she kept making little jokes and he just kind of ignored her, Hm. Anyway, the TO station is coming up.... On to Montréal!

Later:
I keep expecting these trains to be emptier. This one only has a dozen or so seats left in the whole car. I’m guessing those will be filled soon also. I’m a bit concerned that I’ll run out of laptop power. I haven’t seen any electrical outlets. i believe I’ll listen to music and read for a bit. Can I close the lappy and still hear music with headphones? Must figure out.

Later: cannot listen with Appy closed. Appy is now my name for my computer.
TRAIN RIDE IS RIDICULOUSLY LONG! And not all that interesting. The lady sitting next to me is the quiet bookish type. Middle aged and too polite to start a conversation with a young punk like me.

I’m really thirsty. I just want water. Montreal is about an hour away i think.

I’m listening to Blue Imelda by Final Fantasy. I think it’s suiting that I listen to a song by a Canadian musician while passing through the awesome canadian landscape. There’s no place like this, it’s true. Except I believe I’m gonna be in Quebec very soon.

Anyway, I’ve watched Aladdin, and come to some decisions. Jasmine is pretty cool, as Disney princesses go. I would like to say that the scripting is pretty mediocre. Just very... cliché lines and story arcs and such.

Tell Me Something Good by Chaka Kahn and Rufus Thomas. Heart!

Later:
Just to give you a concept of time, it is now about 4:50, and I started at about 10.
Much more comfy now though. The lady sitting next to me got off at Dorval so I put up the arm rest and now have 2 seats and a plug-in for Appy.

Later:
Ok so it’s about quarter after 9. I’ve just been kind of dozing and listening to music for the last hour and a bit. I had a pretty bad headache from the stop in montreal, but I feel better. I got a drink of water there and had a bit of food so I feel really nice now.
Montreal was cool but scary. I love the city, It’s got this wonderful angsty undertone which I just love, but it still scares me a bit. I’d like to live there for a few months. Example: an angry looking man just handed me a pillow. Montreal is all about the juxtaposition.

That being said, I had a very unfortunate conversation with this person from the hotel that’s supposed to be picking me up at the train station with a shuttle tomorrow when I arrive. I really couldn’t explain what I wanted in French and she didn’t know enough English to understand. (Angry man now gives blanket!) So I really don’t know how I’m getting to the hotel tomorrow.

The guy in front of me has internet and I’m jealous! I also watched sneakily from the seat behind him when he was watching Underworld. The fact that I didn’t have sound made it all the funnier. He’s a pretty entertaining person anyway. He’s got poofy nerd hair :D

I love that I’m listening to Jack Johnson right now. I think of all the times sitting in my house or res and I wanted to just get out of it and be somewhere else. Finally, I am going somewhere else. I’m all on my own, so it’s good I’m in Canada. I feel though, as if I might do something absolutely unexpected. I’ve got no one to answer to. On the other hand, I feel like the reason that I never do unexpected things is that I’m the same person all the way through. At least right now it feels like it. I remember thinking at one point earlier today that I really wanted to get in a bar fight with someone who is clearly going to beat me. Don’t ask, because I don’t know.

Ben Folds! Camp! A friend of mine from camp that I’ve always been particularly a fan of is going to be back in waterloo region from New York at the start of next month. I’m really looking forward to seeing him. Also, this song pwns (Philosophy by Ben Folds Five).

A long time ago (ok, like a year ago) I dloaded a bunch of music from this band called the Silversun Pickups. I’ve never really gotten a chance to listen to them because in the same dload batch/frenzy I discovered the Arctic Monkeys and they kind of stole my heart and mind for a while. These guys are really good though. They remind me of Jefferson Airplane, with a bit of a melancholy turn.

Morning!
It’s weird to spend the night on a train. I watched Anastasia and The Lion King and around 1 I decided to sleep. It’s not that I wasn’t comfortable, although space was tight. My legs kept falling asleep, which was very frustrating. I woke up every hour or so, and now other people are starting to wake up. It’s quarter after 6 and I’m very sleepy. I want some water, but I’m rather scared to go find it. There appears to be something wrong with the train because the operators are tearing up and down the aisles with their walky-talkys blaring.

Later:
It’s 830. I never went to find water, I fell asleep. When I woke up it was all frosty trees and hills and little streams.
I’ve just caught my first glimpse of the ocean. I honestly didn’t know it was this beautiful here. There’s something about knowing this water is Canadian that makes it different from seeing the ocean in Florida or Cuba. It’s a different colour too. Near in it’s a grey, slate blue, and it fades away into navy.

I’m also trying to figure out what the train whistle procedure is. Do the just whip it out any time or are there specific times it’s forbidden or required? I would ask someone but I’m a whimp...


Well I’m here. Actually this is my second day. Sunday.

I was very worried getting off the train. I didn’t know for sure if the shuttle was going to be meeting me. Fortunately there was a very nice older fellow on the train who was bilingual and helped me find the shuttle. As we were driving to the hotel the driver (he was about 55 or so) pointed out various cool things to do and see.

My room is very cute and the bathroom window has a nice view of Mount Ste-Anne. I settled in and went for a stroll. I got postcards for people at home and a hat for myself because my ears were freezing. I found a little dépaneur and got myself a bottle of Australian red wine and Ah! Caramels and Chef Boyardee. This is a healthy trip! I think I might stop back there again and get some cereal and milk.

Anyway, I just used last night to relax. I had a glass of wine and much junk food and watched movies and that sort of thing. Slept from like 1:30 till noon. Showered and dressed and set out.

The shuttle guy had mentioned that one could hike Mount Ste-Anne and he said that the path started behind the church. I chouldn’t see the church, so I went to a little tourist info thing and asked and got a map and info on boat tours also. Turns out the path was right close by so I set out directly from the info place for a little hike.

The hiking trails here are a bit different from hiking trails in Ontario. Usually if there’s a large incline to be surmounted, the trails zigzag up it so that one’s legs don’t die. This is not the same here. It’s like the Québecois said, “Oh, you want to get to the top? THEN GO STRAIGHT UP! Your legs are dying? SUCK IT UP, PRINCESS!”. Except they spoke French. Even though my butt is gonna hurt like crazy tomorrow, I really enjoyed it. It was so beautiful with the trees turning colour on the mountains and the ocean spread out around and it was absolutely silent. There wasn’t any wind and only a few birds left, because most have gone south.

I want to come back here next summer with like everyone I know. It would be fun to all go whale watching and hang out in the mountains and stuff. I’m going for a boat tour of Rocher-Percé and Île-de-Bonaventure tomorrow. Should be pretty cool, and offer some pretty sick photo ops.

I think I’ll go out for dinner tonight. Maybe I can talk to someone? Hm.

Also, I think I'll post all of my trip to this same post, so check back for edits.

Mon, 11am.

Unfortunately, the lady at the tourist info place was mistaken about there being a boat tour today. I woke up at 9, and had breakfast in the hotel café and walked down to the wharf to find it completely deserted. I strolled around but I couldn't find anyone. I went up to a shop that advertised as having tickets to "croisières des baleines" and inquired about it, and the lady there said that tomorrow at 10am there will be one. So I went to the post office to get stamps for postcards and then wandered about. I hiked up to the lookout point on Mount Joli and checked out the super weird sculpture that's in the middle of a field... it was a bunch of logs and cables and rocks, and I didn't get it.

I turned around to leave the sculpture and I saw something white move. It was a snowy owl! She looked at me and I looked at her for a while. I think it was female because she wouldn't leave her spot, so I think it was her nest. I got a few pics. She kept turning her head like all the way backwards. It's the first time I've ever seen an owl in the wild. She was very pretty. Owls are my new favourite bird. Actually, I don't know that I had a favourite before.... Anyway, I left her to sit on her nest; I didn't want to disturb her.

After that I found a path to the beach and wandered along there for a bit. The beaches here are pebbles and dark sand. It's pretty crazy colours because there are mostly red stones, but some are green and some are a crazy shade of cream or beige. It makes for a psychedelic walk.

I walked back through town and picked up some Halls Vitamin C things at the pharmacy. I don't want to get a cold and my body isn't used to all this cold air and wind and such. Now I'm back at my room considering what to do with the rest of my day. I think I'll write postcards. Woot :D

133pm

I got postcards done. I have leftovers, so if you suspect you're not getting one just make sure i have your address and i'll send one!

So I've been doing a bit of research on the area. First off, I constantly see signs about "du pêche" or "pêcheur" and I always thought that was a peach. Turns out that as a verb, it means to fish, but as a noun it means peach. "Hey guys, let's go peaching!"
Also, you have to be careful with pronounciation, because while "un pêcheur" is a fisherman, "un pécheur" is a sinner. I'm sure none of the scary sailor guys I've seen about would find the mix up altogether funny....

Also, there's constantly pictures of these birds on everything! The are the fou-de-bassan, or gannets. The nest like mad on the Île-de-Bonaventure, but they're pretty common all over the North Atlantic. I think they're pretty cool looking.

I went out for lunch at a restaurant just down the street, and I ordered "Gratin de crevettes". I didn't fully understand from the menu that it would be SO FREAKING AWESOME! Hehe, basically it was shrimp cooked in garlic and buried in mozzerella cheese. Yummmm! I think I'll go back to the same restaurant on my last night here and get some more yummy food. It's fairly expensive though.

So I'm just chilling in my room with some tea this eve. Gonna watch a few movies. Nothing huge. I'm really enjoying the lazyness here.

657pm

Arg. Freezing cold and wallowing in book-based angst. Half a glass of wine will fix the first, but I really can't shake the second.

I'm reading Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck. And I'm losing most of my happiness. The writing is very, very good and the characters are so lovely, but it's all gonna fall apart by the end because my father told me about it.
I really resent stories that end badly. I think that's why I watch movies. Easy now Becca, life is beautiful.
It's not really. The world is a place where a lot of people get hurt and then get angry and hurt other people. The ones who won't hurt get beaten further and further down until nobody notices them.
I'm sure to cry next time I see a rabbit.
WHY CAN'T THERE BE NICE PEOPLE?

Tues, 919am

I didn't go out last night. I sat on msn and talked to people and ended up causing quite a ruckus.

All in all, I'm much further ahead as a person because of like 6 conversations with good friends.

wHales!! I leave in like 10 mins for the cruise and I'm listening to Laura Marling and it's a beautiful morning!

1146am

OH MY GOSH!

Heh, can you tell I'm pumped to ooze about the boat tour?

Well, there weren't any whales. We didn't go far enough out for that. We just went close up to Percé Rock and all the way round Bonaventure Island.

Well! It was magnificent! At first I was a little concerned for my personal safety because a) the boat looked like a floating dump truck and b) the second in command on the boat had long biker-ish hair and was carrying a bundle of beating sticks. But it turns out the boat was very sturdy and the biker-esque man had a very nice face (weather worn, yes, but friendly) and sparkly eyes. And the beating stickes were actually canes he carves.

So we headed out and I was a bit pissed off because I missed a lot of really cool photo ops for Rocher-Percé itself because I couldn't get to a window to take a pic. I decided this would not be the case for Bonaventure so I claimed a good spot while everyone else was still on the other side looking at Percé.

It's a spectacular island. The cliffs are much higher than I thought and they have these cool black markings running through them. Every ledge is lined with white gannets nesting. Red rock, vertical black lines, horizonal white lines. It's very beautiful.

It was lovely to be on a boat again, although it had a diesel motor and made ridiculous amount of noise. I love boats, and being on the water. I like the swaying and the fun of trying to neither hold on nor fall over (I tend to fall over).

I haven't mentioned the best thing yet.
We saw SEALS! Gray seals. I'd like to point out for a second that the french word for seal is "phoque" which sounds exactly like a very popular english word ;) It was worth the $25 just to hear a horde of people babbling excitedly about the little phoques.
Ok, but they were so cool! They would poke their noses above water, and you would see them a second, and they would bob out of sight with the waves. They would bob up again a few times and once you had got the rhythm of seeing them and not, they would disappear completely. The noise from our boat caused a bunch of the ones on the beach to race to the water. It was funny to see them run! They totally suck at it! heheh! They are my second favourite marine mammal now. They replaced dolphins.

I think I got some half decent pics, anyway!

Afterward I stopped at a gift shop to get some stuff, and I went to a grocery store I found to get fooood! I now have crackers, cheese strings, granola bars, milk, and an apple for scurvy prevention. Yay! I dunno what I'll do the rest of today. Might do some napping and then walking. Sounds alright to me!

Hehe, phoque

Weds, 313pm

Well I've done absolutely nothing of worth today. And I'm not going to.

I've poked around on youtube, poked around in my iTunes library, poked around in my John Steinbeck collection, and here are my awesome discoveries for the day:

Piggies by The Beatles
Play Crack the Sky by Brand New
Frankenweenie (a short film directed by Tim Burton)
Stainboy Parts 1-6 (more Tim Burton)
The Pixies

Righto~ I'm gonna be more lazy now. I might eat some crackers. Mmm.

1040pm

RE: Teenage Wasteland by The Who

How is this song so good? It seems to define my life thus far.
IN THREE CHORDS!!! and a wicked solo from a fiddle or something... not sure what that is.
How is this possible? I think we must proclaim that The Who had supernatural powers of rock.
Yessir

Thurs 742pm

I've realized I say "well" altogether too much and I'm going to try to stoppit.

Today I went for a walk at around 930 to this place called the Grotto by locals. It was a less intense hike than the previous ones, which was nice. I might go back tomorrow, because it was very pretty. Waterfall, green smell.

And then I walked around more places, like Mount Joli. I tried to find my owl friend but there were only feathers.

Then I read John Steinbeck even though I said he was too depressing. I honestly pick up the book and burst into tears. It's good though.

And then I watched youtube vids.

Then I watched The Office (it was an old episode).

Now I'm listening to music and chatting. Yum, Final Fantasy.

How is it that you can think you're getting along just fine without someone and then you talk to them and you're like, "Oh frik we need to hang out because we have the same brain"? Or you think you enjoy someone's company until you find someone who's just way more fun and enlightening?

Revelations, eh? Mountains and msn are a dangerous combo.

Fri, 826am

Crappity. The weather's not nice. Curses!

Here is my dream from yesterday night. I wrote it down but didn't type it up. Enjoy. Oh, and Ben is my 23 yr old brother.

Ben said he was going to fight someone huge. It may have been this one friend of his who is massive, but it may have been a stranger. Don't remember. Anyway, the person wanted to fight me but Ben said he would instead.

We both knew the guy could easily kill either of us.

I was at a stop light off an exit ramp in my car when Ben pulled up on a dirtbike. He told me to take it and get out of there. I put on the helmet and he hopped in the car and we took off. I wasn't altogether good with the bike, so I almost died as we merged onto the Conestogo Expressway. Somehow we knew the guy was close behind us, although we never actually saw him.

Eventully Ben signalled at me to pull over. Now he was also on a motorcycle somehow. As we were discussing on the shoulder of the freeway, a red four wheeler fell off a passing trailer. It crashed onto the gravel and rolled to a stop in the ditch not more than 50m away from us. Ben and I looked at each other and laughed nervously.

We realized somehow that the guy was gaining on us so we started off again. Shortly after passing the Ottawa St. exit, all the cars started going the opposite way from us. After some artful dodging, we came to a construction fence across the road. We bypassed it and the freeway was not a hilly dirt road. It was super wide and smooth though.

We were flying along there when I realized a bunch of Ben's friends were with us. We came to a staircase/ramp combo and for some reason I took the stairs. On my dirtbike. I beat everyone else up though. By the top of the stairs my dirtbike had become a pedal bike.

The stairs came up into an overgrown field, and a forest was nearby. We all hid under this big metal scaffolding thing. We talked for a while, but we noticed off in the distance these two bluish white gleaming discs. They looked a bit like LED headlights far away. We heard some noises too. Someone said the hyenas were coming so we left.

That is all!

Now I'm gonna go seek out some breakfast...

900am

FREAKING COLD!! I actually just went down to the post office and back because it's very windy and FREEZING! There is actually snow on the ground. That being said, I'm gonna get tea made and eat a granola bar and go take pics of Ste-Anne, because it's very pretty.

824pm

So I went out a bit but it was soooo cold! I was gonna go out for dinner but the place was closed for the weekend. ???? ? Oh well. I got groceries for the trip on the train tomorrow.

Having this space from my friends has given me a bit of thought, which may or may not hurt some people's feelings.

So you know how you read people's "about me" on facebook or wherever, and they say music or their friends are their "life"? That seems kinda weird to me. Are they not an individual withing their own right?

I love being alone, and I guess that is something that a lot of people don't get. I would never say that my friends are my life, because they simply aren't. I enjoy them, for sure! We have great times, and I don't think there are many people in the world that interact on the level of weird that we do and are not on tv. From tea parties to Sigourney Weaver to screaming about space lions to Sir Edwin the Box, we share a lot of memories and I love these people. But alone I can't say that I feel incomplete, or even lacking.

I suppose what I am trying to say is that I extend, as a being, beyond the people I interact with. I am proud of this.

I watched an episode of Friends today for old times' sake, and it made me laugh, actually. Joey is reading Little Women and Rachel tells him that Beth dies. I was laughing so hard I almost peed. This story has no significance, but it hit me at the moment. There's something beautiful about literature that isn't afraid to include actual death. Yes, it makes me a tempermental spazz muffin, but it's beautiful. I think I go crazy when sad stuff happens in books because I actually trust them. Frik. I just made a major psychological discovery about myself.

Frik
Frikkity
FrikFrik

Yah, I trust books, and that's why they make me cry and real problems in life don't. I need to get a freaking life. Or a kick in the head. Or a therapist. Or a therapist who will kick me in the head to help me get a life.

Curse you, authors! Steinbeck and Brontë and Kipling (oh he's a freaking MASTER of that stuff) and Alcott and ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO CAN WRITE! You made me socially unfunctional! AAAAAARHHHG!

Hopefully no one reading this post will still be paying attention by this bit. Actually, if they weren't paying attention, I'm sure the caps caught their eye....

Hhah, frik.

Sat, 128pm

So my last day here. I need to go out to meet the shuttle at 245.

This morning I was up early, considering my late night (2am).

If you're wondering why I was up that late, it was in regards to a blog post that I had to delete because it was simply too evil. It was genius, of course, and nor can I take all the credit for its spectacularity, but I had to avert my evil for now. Certain events could loose it, though. Beware!

Anyway, I was up around 830 and got dressed and went for a walk. I went back to the Grotto on the mountain. It was nice because there's snow now. Every time there was a little bit of wind, the trees would bend and the icicles and snow would drop with the prettiest sound. Road was icy, which made it difficult going up and down. I got there and just sat for a bit. It wasn't too cold, but after a while on the rock my bum went right numb.

As I was walking back to the hotel I decided I love this place. I like the seclusion on the mountain, where only nature noise can reach you. I like the ocean, which waves happily but smells like sadness. I feel like the landscape matches my brain, and especially in this season. I want to come back in the summer and go whale watching and sea kayaking. I would love to bring friends to see the mountain (and to keep me busy during the train ride!).

I believe I will come back, if I don't die first.

Ok, also, I'm looking forward to Halloween! Imma be a PIRATE! Candy Eve is the shizz!

207pm

From MLIA:
Today, my mom got a call from my little brothers elementary school. His kindergarten teacher went around the circle and asked him what they wanted to be when they grew up. He answered "Happy." The teacher then responded "No...you don't understand the question." My litle brother fired back with "Well, you don't understand life." I now have no doubt we are related. MLIA

I want to buy that kid a puppy and an ice cream cone and tell him he's awesome!

Also, from rock paper cynic:
Life is too short to waste on anything but happiness and bite wounds.

Wherever these people come from, that's where I want to be.

636pm

Well I’ve spent the last 3 hours since boarding the train moping, mostly. Listening to sad songs and staring at the sea until it was gone, and generally being a miserable lump.

I don’t really know why I’m moping. I think trains feel, in my mind, like melancholy places. It feels like I’m leaving something behind. I think my brain is under the impression that I’m supposed to be missing someone or something, since I’m traveling. Suck it up, dear, you’re going home.

There was an interesting guy at the train station. An asian fellow, who was from Toronto (we spoke briefly) and he kept taking pictures. I am suspicious that he got a few of me but I was too shy to ask. He kept rearranging his scarf, setting the timer, and taking pics of his back.... I was on the verge of asking if he wanted me to take a pic of him when the train came.

The angry pillow and blanket man is on this train again. Ugh. And the loudest woman in all Québec is sitting in front of me. Oh well.

I’m gonna be sleepy soon, but I’m scared to spread out and sleep because the train will be stopping all night. What if it gets full and someone needs to sit beside me? Ak!

846pm

I’ve been sleeping. I don’t know how long. I just drifted off while listening to music to block out the loud lady and her companion with the super annoying voice. I probably got a good 40 mins of sleep though, just from looking at my iTunes. The last song I remember is Nantes and I woke up to Boy Named Sue. Good playlist.

My brain feels a bit numb now from so much music. I think I’ll listen to the train for a while. It makes some cool sounds.

I scammed some crayons at the train station. They were supposed to be packs for little kids, but I really wanted one. Was that childish of me? Enh, who cares. I got purple, green, and red. The other option was black, orange, and red. I believe I got a right slick deal overall.

Train sounds give Becca a headache. Chocolate and a movie!

Sun, 659am

I’ve been watching dawn. It’s only just started, so most of everything is gray. Gray. From the west edge all the way across is dark clouds and patches of slate blue sky. On the very eastern rim of the sky there’s this crack in the clouds, like a seam. It’s lit up with orange, like the whole top of the gray universe is going to pop off and start dancing a can-can.

Annoying ladies are now up and chattering and laughing and being SO DUMB! I want to kick in face!! Old people usually only act like this if they’re drunk. Seriously. Grr...

I didn’t sleep too badly. I waited for the stupid ladies to sleep first. Chocolate and a movie tuned into 3 movies and a couple granola bars.

We’ve just stopped in Drummondville. If the train is running on time, which I think it is, we should be in Montréal in only an hour and 15 mins. Not far.

Oh, did I mention yesterday that I found my parents’ iPod (which has been missing for almost a year) in my backpack? Yeah, I’m in trouble when I get home. Eek.

1005am

So I’m done with Quebec, nearly. On my way to Toronto from Montreal. I think we’re about to stop in Dorval.

I just listened to Eleanor Rigby. The song makes me want to hug random strangers. There are a lot of people who don’t have any connections, I think. I hate the thought that someone could go all day and not talk to a single person. It’s possible. Also, I’m likely to be one of those people in another 10 years. If I am nice to strangers now, maybe karma will make them nice to me when I’m an Eleanor Rigby.

Now Cecilia is on. There’s nowt to be sad about when you’re listening to this song. LoveLoveLove. RepeatRepeatRepeat.

AK! Someone just slammed an overhead locker and scared the breath out of me! Frikkity!

1106am

I’ve finally sorted through all my Beatles music and I officially have 401 recordings of them! Some of them are the same song but a different version. I also went through all the downloaded songs that didn’t have anything in the iTunes “artist” category and either deleted them or labelled them properly. I feel as if I’ve accomplished something important. My next task is to delete the songs that I don’t like as they come up on my shuffle.

I don’t usually listen to Joe Dassin, but this song just caught my fancy. La Bande a Bonnot. Innnnnteresting.

Every time I go to stare out the window (which is like every 8 seconds) the guy across the aisle gives me this glance. Go back to sleeep, creepy man! Speaking, of creepy, lol: I’m stealthily snooping on the crossword of the guy in front of me. I can read it from the reflection in the window.

247pm

In Oshawa. I. AM. SO. BORED.

Honestly. I would like to sleep or die or something!

I watched Juno. I’m thinking of getting a job with VIA rail. Wouldn’t be so bad. Not right now, of course. At some point though.

Mon, 616pm

Big space, I know. I think I'll just summarize until it gets interesting.

Completed train ride to Toronto in deathly boredom.
Spent 2 hours in Toronto pacing and reading and freaking out about the time, because the clocks at the station were wrong.
Boarded train to TO...
And this is where it gets interesting.

As I was getting on, facing 4 parallel rows of grumpy middle aged people, I decided I didn't wanna sit with any of them, and I ended up all the way at the back in the seat reserved for groups of 3 or 4 (because they're all facing each other). I decided I was gonna sit there regardless of reservations. Allow me to diagram the train for you, or else this whole story will be difficult to understand. This is an overhead view, and the direction of the arrow indicates the way the seat faces.

> < >>>>>>>>>> <
> < >>>>>>>>>> <
Aisle
> < >>>>>>>>>> <
> < >>>>>>>>>> <

Good? So there are little 4 seat clusters.
As I was shoving my backpack into the overhead lockers, the guy behind me asked if there was enough room for his bag too. I said I was sure it would work, and as I scooted into the window seat he shoved his bag into the locker.

He sat down kitty corner facing me. He had very curly, medium brown hair, glasses, and straight teeth. I guessed he was close to my age because he was dressed student-ish and was eating a bagel (pretty standard student food). He was tall, but not the scary skinny type of tall. Just long legs. Across the aisle from us in the other "reserved for groups" seating area was a girl with a cool hat reading a book.

Moments later a group of rich women came storming down the aisle with at least 4 shopping bags apeice, asking where to put them and so on. They were asking each other where to put them, and I pointed out that they would fit behind the seats that faced backward. There were four of these ladies, so the girl across the aisle volunteered to move to sit with the guy and I, and let them have the one cluster to themselves. They were very thankful, and settled right down to gossip viciously.

When the girl with the hat moved to sit with us, the guy moved into the seat directly facing mine. We all sort of exchanged pleasantries about trips and trains and such, and the train started off.

As we went, we started talking more and more. I want to take this opportunity to say that I didn't feel like a weird person. We all seemed to have been made in the same world, and it wasn't difficult to talk. I didn't feel worried that they would think I was weird, and I don't think they did. It was kind of surreal: talking to people.

Anyway, the guy was from Peterborough and was in first year engineering at UWaterloo. We talked about school and how much university sucks.

The girl was from Kitchener. She had just been in Quebec City for the weekend with her husband who was 10 years older than her. She lived in KW with her parents and 3 month old son, and her husband is in the army and is training in New Brunswick.

We talked about movies and jobs and school and parents and I actually ended up missing the Guelph station because no one announced it and I didn't notice where we were. I just got off in Kitchener and my dad picked me up.

I felt like that was the perfect way to end a trip. I believe I'll start hanging around the mall more to see if I'll see train guy. I'm proud of myself for meeting new people, even if I need to call them Train Guy and Hat Girl because we didn't exchange names.

And that is all!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iSlPoQm2XY
Love is weird.
I like it.

Friday, October 9, 2009

i got in a really weird mood toward the end of my shift today at work.

one of the push brooms was broken so it had 2 metal pieces sticking out of it at peculiar angles. i thought it looked like a bug or an alien. I was going to put it away when Smiley Guy walked past. He looked at the broom and I literally yelled IT'S AN ALIEN!!! and then kept walking because he looked a bit shocked and appalled. I turned around a few moments later and he was laughing his head off.

Ok, so first, I probably have gotten myself nominated as "the weird one" on my shift.
Second, I love making people laugh. It's like my favourite thing to do. Especially if they weren't expecting to laugh. I love that look that people get, the "Did she just say that for reals?" one, and then they just start giggling (at least Smiley Guy does. He seriously giggles. It's hilarious in an awkward way. He thinks I'm laughing with him but I'm laughing at him.)

Ok so shower and guelph for the day!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

I'm vaguely annoyed at myself for something I've actually realized before. Last time I put it down to a lack of sleep and forgot about it. It's come on again though, and now I know it's true.

I like life and myself better when I've had caffeine. It makes me feel happy and quick and I do better in social situations when I've had a coffee or iced cap.

I don't think most people will understand why this bothers me, but I can try to explain a little. (Hold on a sec, there is a foreign (as in not recognizable) male voice emanating from my kitchen....)
Right, well, caffeine. It bothers me because why can't I be happy and enjoy life naturally? Do I seriously need the extra boost just to be likeable? Maybe this caffeine induced logic is kind of shaky, but right now I don't much care because in 2 minutes or so I will feel generally pleasant again. Maybe this is how other people appear happy.
(Mysterious voice is gone, I think it was some sort of service man)

Work was fun last night. I had 2 cups of coffee and felt generally bubbly and happy and my partner and I joked back and forth all night and our machinery actually worked (instead of being unusable for 6 hours straight like the night before). We made over 10000 bags of food! Granted, they were only like 150 grams each (those wee sample packs) but that's pretty respectable considering we box them by hand. That's about 25 bags every minute. Win. Also my partner told me he's going to burn me a cd of the band Maccabees. A friend of mine like them a lot, so I think I will to and I'm looking forward to it a lot :D

Tea! Not caffeinated, don't worry. I need to sleep more yet today

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Today

Isn't so bad.
Laying in bed.
Eating nutella out of the jar with a knife.
Listening to the Shins and the Local Natives.
Waiting for my mom to make a yummy supper.

All I lack is warm toes.
Well, sleep... enh, whatever.

You can't expect too much from life.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Party Time

Hello.
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone home?

Come on, now.
I hear youre feeling down.
Well I can ease your pain,
Get you on your feet again.

Relax.
I need some information first.
Just the basic facts:
Can you show me where it hurts?

There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ships smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I cant hear what youre sayin.
When I was a child I had a fever.
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now I got that feeling once again.
I cant explain, you would not understand.
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.

Ok.
Just a little pinprick. [ping]
Therell be no more --aaaaaahhhhh!
But you may feel a little sick.

Can you stand up?
I do believe its working. good.
Thatll keep you going for the show.
Come on its time to go.

There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ships smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I cant hear what youre sayin.
When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse,
Out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look but it was gone.
I cannot put my finger on it now.
The child is grown, the dream is gone.
I have become comfortably numb.

There is a reason for that. I don't think I can really tell you what it is. That song feels like it's talking about something that I am, but it's clearly not.
It's not that I didn't enjoy it, I just didn't enjoy it.
I can't undo the italics here...