Wednesday, September 30, 2009

You should watch "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty"
It is all on Youtube, so there is no excuse.
I laughed my heiney off.

Monday, September 28, 2009

I must say that Addea (I totally used that nickname!) and I are excelling in sneakiness last night.

We have contrived a very good plan. Hurrah

But right now it is raining in the beautiful splashy way. I'm in a house that is about 150 years old and listening to the rain on the roof and the driveway and running down the house. I'm staying with a friend for a few days because most of the family that owns the house is out of town. She's actually out seeing them off right now, and i feel a little bad for chilling in bed, but I think I would be in the way.

Autumn rain is different from other kinds of rain. Summer storms have beauty in their violence, but the unpretentious, steady rain in the fall is my favourite. In spite of it being very, very cold I like to muck about in it.

I'm listening to this family get up and get ready. Some of the kids are getting ready for school, and the rest are getting ready to go on vacation for a week. It reminds me of when my family was all still home. I miss the era when we were old enough to enjoy each other but none of us had moved out yet. It was a very small window of time, of course, but I liked very much hanging out with my brothers.

This family is different from mine though. Their dad is home a lot more than mine was, and their mother is home a lot less. I don't know whether that would explain their peculiarities or not, but I'll certainly be pondering it. I actually like these kids, which is weird in every way. Mainly cuz there are 9 of the suckers between the ages of 17 and 5. Their nanny has done wonders with them since I first met them...

Oh yah...
Apologies to anyone who thought this blog would contain anything important or relevant to life!

*edited to add* Oooh! Lightning!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009


Would be kinda nice.
I wouldn't have to decide whether I wanted to be a vet or a hobo.
I could be both.
And a musician.
And a lawyer.

Then again, I would use immortality as an excuse to waste more of my life on youtube.

It's a good thing we only have so much time. People wouldn't make altogether healthy use of their existences.

Monday, September 21, 2009

"The Sea" by Owen Pallett (aka Final Fantasy)

I love this song. It sits gracefully on the edge of being a jig or similar folk dance and looks into a sort of confusion of sounds that wouldn't make sense. It's like the sea itself. The surface makes sense, only because it rests on something that doesn't.

I also love Shane Koyczan again. I listened to "The Crickets Have Arthritis" today and it made me cry but made me also want to go out and live life. Then I remembered I have a job.
Working seems to get in the way of living, but then I remembered it's up to me to live at work just as it's up to me to live everywhere else.

Every time I listen to music that I like (right now it's Her Morning Elegance by Oren Lavie) I wonder why angry people exist and why life is such a hurry. Then I look at my laptop and my nice room and realize that it's so selfish of me to think that everyone should be as happy as I am in that moment. There are people who will never have a chance at this sort of life because I'm taking it up, and I feel like a jerk for taking it up.

This reaffirms my idea that I have no need for an iPod. Screw me.
Why am I spending money on travelling when people need food to survive. Argh.
Pink Bullets by The Shins

Sunday, September 20, 2009

I am actually driving myself up the wall with my inability to make new friends/ socialize at all outside the people that already know me.
I just get so nervous meeting new ppl that i say the dumbest things and come off as a wing nut or jerk.


Today I read the Chrysalids before church and then the preacher was talking about purity and I kinda freaked out in my mind.

Yeeeeeaaa.... I'm a nut job.

In like 5 years when all the friends I have now are married and have their own busy lives I'm going to be sitting in a crap old apartment somewhere, trying to finish school, and talking to my pet hedgehog about youtube comedians and it will suck.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Hier, m'amie Deanna et moi sommes allé à une petite librarie et j'ai trouvé une grande dictionaire français-anglais, donc je veux utiliser mes habiletées françaises.
J'ai besoin la practique pour mon voyage au Québec cet octobre. Je vais lire cette dictionaire comme au manuel.
Les autres livres que j'ai acheté sont:
The Chrysalids par John Wyndham
The Wish par Gail Carson Levine
Dracula par Bram Stoker (j'ai lit une version abrégée quand j'étais jeune, et j'amais)

Ma mére a dit que si je n'arrete pas achêter les livres je vais devoir déménager. Bah. Je les adore.

Je ne peux pas reconnaisse les formes des verbes imparfait ou futur ou conditionnel ou subjonctif. AAARG. Phail.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Pleasant night

I really had a good night at work. Actually last night was also pretty slick. Sunday night was an atrocity because it went slower than a turtle with no legs walking up a greased window pane.

But last night (aka Monday night) I was just labelling bags with my partner who is a pretty interesting guy. He likes to talk, which is pleasant. Apparently he's worried that his girlfriend is cheating on him with another girl. Hmmm.

Then tonight (aka Tuesday night or wednesday morning) I was feeling crappy before work so I took some Pepto Bismol and it WORKED AMAZINGLY and I FELT FINE! So that was really awesome. Then things kept going wrong. Mechanically, I mean. When stuff goes wrong at work, I get perkier while every one else gets angry. I don't know whether I'm actually enjoying myself or if I'm just spiteful. Either way, I was so happy I kept humming songs to myself. Then at about 7am the guy in charge of scheduling came around and told me I'm now hired on as a full time employee, so I'm making super $$! yaay!!! and I got my time off in october to go to Quebec, and I got my time off moved around appropriately for next week.
I came home and had clam chowder for breakfast. I was thinking about how nicely all that stuff worked out, and how the universe must be my friend today. Then I thought about how weird it is that the universe exists. How did that happen? And then I thought about how weird it is that existence exists.

And then my brain exploded.
In a happy way.

I feel goooood.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

This evening

was significant to me in a number of ways.
I learned two interesting things about myself.

1: I have trust issues
2: I can be stupid
Let me explain...

1: ok ever since I was about 5 or so I've been a really anti-touch person. I don't like hugs or really any physical contact from most people. Then I was wondering why I didn't mind being piled 4 people on a love-seat this evening with my friends. I sort of realized over the course of the evening that I associate physical contact with trust. Shortly after this I realized how few people I trust and it made me a little sad.

2: I don't mean I've done something terrible. My friend was talking about how a person he met in rez chugged a cup of soap. I laughed and said that was dumb but really really funny and that guy is cool. Later on, he bought dish soap and I grabbed it and pretended to take a gulp. He laughed and basically said I wasn't cool enough. I just looked at him, grabbed the bottle, and took a big gulp. Then I kinda threw up.
See? I'm really dumb! This is awesome for me because I'm usually altogether too sensible and I kinda proved to myself that I can just do it. I guess this is a bit of a weird thing, and I apologise for all you who didn't want to hear it, but I'm frikken proud of it. A friend of mine says that you need to make mistakes that you know are mistakes sometimes because it's good for you. He whores himself out, and I drink soap.
Btw, never do it. So gross. I can't get the taste out of my mouth!!!

We watched the movie "I love you, man" and I loved it. It proves my point about how difficult it is to make friends. It's just really impossible. Then on the way home I was saying how it's worse for those of us who won't resort to getter drunk to make friends. My theory is that if they won't like me sober, they most certainly won't like me drunk. I'm likely a jerk when I'm wasted.

Ick, i'm gonna eat another peppermint to get rid of the soap. Hehe.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

A Tale of Two Cities

Charles Dickens is a brilliant writer. I read a dumb-ified version of this book and it still made me think about sadness.
Also made me think about the french revolution. Who were the good guys?

Sydney Carton. twenty three.

I am thinking about dying. And I'm thinking about sadness.
When we've been there ten thousand years..

Words aren't made for what's on my mind

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

This past week a high school friend emailed me and said she was trying to organize a goodbye get together because she's going to germany for 8 months. I wasn't particularly close to this person but I emailed back and said I would be there. Apparently I was one of 2 to get back to her.

She's like a super nice person with plenty of friends, so I didn't really expect that tonight when I showed up that I would be the only person there, but that's how it goes. And I considered flaking out too. I felt really bad. I hope that she isn't sad or feel like no one cares about her.

We had fun, too. We watched a silly Patrick Dempsey movie. Mega lolz....

My little sister started high school today. She's so old! Wow. I'm so old.

I went out today with another friend from high school that most of the group of us had written off as a psycho witch and we all figured she didn't like us. Turns out that while she's not the most sensitive or considerate person, she would always have liked to hang out.

I have thinking to do.

Why am I getting texts about a family meeting with my friends?

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Joey Comeau is awesome

I read this on his blog and i want to try it :

I like people watching. It's fun. You go, you sit on a patio or something with a friend, and you watch people go by. The two of you can make up little stories in your head for them. I mean, I think we make up little stories for people in our heads anyway, on an unconscious level. Stereotyping is a part of that. But when you're people watching you think about it more.

But what's even more fun, especially if you live near a college or university, is to get up high, at night. Not too high, but above head-level. In a tree, or on a ledge in shadows. And then you and your friend just sit quietly, and you sit still, and you wait for groups of people going to and from parties, or to and from friends' houses, and you listen. You get a snatch of conversation, here or there. It's like people watching, except you can get a bit closer to them. It's almost like for a brief second you can hear their thoughts. People listening!

Another hobby that's just one step closer to stalking!