Mean-ness

Ok, so for starters, I know I'm generally a ring leader when it comes to smashing people. But I'm really beginning to feel horrible about it.
I just really don't like being mean. Lately there's been a lot of trouble with certain friends not liking certain other friends, and it is really frustrating to hear them insulted the moment their back is turned. I'm not denying I've had part in it, but I feel so horribly about it. Why don't I have something at least resembling a spine and say "Hey, stop it, I like that person"? It feels like I'm in ome stupid reality TV series where we're all so bored we result to just playing stupid mind games for entertainment. I hate it, hate it, I hate it!

I just want it to be socially acceptable for me to like these people and not have to pretend that I don't. So what if someone is a little obnoxious, or they don't have great people skills, or are a little overweight, or whine too much? Underneath it all they're still a pretty frekken cool person and I wold appreciate it if we (i'm clearly included) started to treat them that way. We are NOT better than they are! There are no "better" or "worse" people. Frek. This is whats frekken wrong with the world. None of us are better. We all need to just admit that everyone has as much right to happiness and well-being as we do, and then it will all even out. Why are people just so frekken selfish? Why can't I fix this in myself? I hate that I love having my horse more than I love other people. As in, I can't convince myself to sell her and send that money to people who need it to live. Is that disgusting? People will say that I don't owe that, but I really do. They have as much right to food as I do, and I'm denying that to them so that I can ride my horse on alternate weekends. How frekken sick and twisted is that.

We're all just so petty. Like a bunch of kids in preschool yelling "NO! MINE!" about some stupid blocks.


I apologise (and that IS the right spelling) for venting, but it had to be done somewhere.