Friday, October 1, 2010

I'm starting smoking in about... 1.5 hours!
I was gonna wait another decade with that but may as well start early on the dying thing, eh?

I am sitting with the Beatles and a nice-ish red wine (Good full flavour, but very dry finish) waiting for my smoking buddy to get to Jam Haus from Elmira.

My life is in a stage of transition right now. It is unclear to me where I'm gonna end up. When I remember to take the anti-stress stuff, it's exciting. When I forget, it's destructively worrisome. What should I learn from this?

I never thought I would end up as the smoking, drinking, skanking sort. It's so peacefully distracting from the universe, though. Who cares about the meaning of life, the universe, and everything when there's good music and good scotch to be had?

I'm turning into a live-for-the-moment kind of person.

I didn't take the un-stressing stuff this morning, so that fact is scaring me. What if I can never regain sight of any sort of purpose or meaning? What if I stop believing in God? What if I can't pull it together, ever, and I waste the only life I get on Facebook and crap jobs so that I can just buy things?

*Snap*! More wine! Cigarettes! Bach's 'Little' Fugue in g minor!

Goal for some time in the next year: see the aurora borealis.

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