Monday, June 8, 2009


That was me grinding my teeth. I'm a bit frustrated about some stuff right now, and a bit sad, so my thoughts worth blogging have been lacking.

Do you know what the worst thing ever is? When someone lets you down. You've given them all the benefit of all the doubt, and 70x7 chances, and then they do something so ridonculously stupid that you just have to be disappointed. Then you feel not only disappointed but lied to. Like that person must never really have cared about you if they would do something so obviously hurtful.

It's crappy.

I also decided I have more mood swings than I know what to do with.

And I'm trying to drive as little as possible this week. Yay for biking. I'm biking to work every night at 11 or so. Everything looks so strange and extraterrestrial in that light. The sky in front of me is stained with pink light pollution from the streetlights in town. The trees are dark men and women bending over the path, forming a musky dark tunnel with their tossing bodies. I finally know why some animals are nocturnal: the smells. The flowers that only open up in the dark are all pouring out their beautyinto the breezes. The smell is so wild and beautiful and strong that I want to forget about the factory and working for money and society and just follow those smells to wherever they began and to wherever they're going.

I think I'll just become an escapist. I don't like dealing with problems. I just sort of wince until they go away. Is that bad? I don't really think so.

Anyway, a shower and sleep are in order, and then possibly the barn and socializing. Oooh, I should do laundry. Poop. It doesn't go away no matter how much I wince.

1 comment:

  1. Ooh, sounds like you've had a rough few days :( But I know exactly what I mean about the disappointment/hurt/person lying thing. It sucks.