Roomie is from home this evening, and the landlady had to show the apartment (we will be moving in the spring) so I went for a walk and spent the last of my money on cigarettes.
I' taken to visiting Doug and Lynn at the farm on most Sundays. It's so calming, and they always give me a drink and a cigarette. Now that I have some of the tasty ones I can return the favour. They are so lovely to be around, and they make me feel like they enjoy having me there, too.
It's funny how I ended up being friends with them. I saw an ad for very cheap horse board in the Elmira observer the summer before I got Jemma, so I called, set up an appointment, and biked out to the farm to have a look and chat. Lynn was out walking her massive Irish Wolfhound, and the silly dog came running up to me to say hi. I only found out later that Una, the wolfhound, is very shy. Lynn and I hit it off, even though I was completely clueless and she knew it. I was very scared of Doug for a while, because he is not an overtly friendly person and I am scared of everyone.
They taught me a lot. When Jemma had colic they helped me walk her and let me borrow some of their supplies. When I got screwed over by the people I leased her too they let me bring her back on really short notice. When I couldn't pay for her any more, they looked after her. It's rare (especially in the horse industry) that you find people so willing to help and be good people.
Whenever I've had problems at home or stress with school or friends, I've gone out there to have a ride and a talk. I don't know which did me more good - the time alone in the forest or the time talking to Lynn. She always backs me up when I'm fighting with my mother or tells me when I'm not making smart choices. Doug always teases me about my "little mennonite boyfriend" or chats about movies and travel and books and music. We have similar tastes.
I consider them to be replacement parents, or at least an aunt and uncle.
Having older friends is the best thing in the world. They are much better at perspective than young friends. Sure, I don't go out drinking with them or anything, but they remind me that there are good people in the world. It's worth trying to get to know people, because some of them are like Lynn and Doug.
That's all I wanted to say. I'm gonna re-watch some Band of Brothers and be thankful for the awesome that is Winters.