Or try to try.
One of the worst things for me in life is that I haven't had to try for much of anything yet. School has never been very difficult; putting in the bare minimum has always gotten me good enough results. Friendships in high school were easily made, easily broken, easily mended. Anything which required effort I've habitually avoided: sports, commitment, achievement, etc.
I think I'm sick of scraping by. I'm sick of not trying for fear of failure. It's such a yellow-bellied way to get through life. I want to stop having lame excuses for why I waste so much time watching movies or on Facebook.
If something or someone matters to me, I'm gonna try. Or try to try. I'm very bad at it.
Also: Happy New Year!
Part of this whole effort is to improve my mind is to read more than I have been in the past year.
I currently have 3 books on the go, all of which are very much worth my time, energy, respect, consumption, and application. I have already mentioned "The Problem of Pain" by C. S. Lewis. I am also reading "The Art of War" by Sun Tzu and a collection of essays on the greatest military leaders of the past which is also entitled "The Art of War".
Sun Tzu's book is tiny, and written in this weird poetic manner. Most of the strategies he outlines seem like common sense to the modern observer (eg: attack a weak point, don't drag a war out for long), but for his time it was revolutionary. It is interesting, after reading his collection of military SOPs, to see which leaders in the other "Art of War" book followed his suggestions.
My other current endeavour is a brief study in formal and symbollic logic. I have a week before school starts, no job, not a whole lot going on. I dloaded a bunch of lectures on the subject from iTunesU for free.
I shall sit now with my delicious-smelling candle and laptap full of good things and accumulate some knowing.