A really good book

Will make you think something new each time you read it.
I'm reading Blue Like Jazz again.
Last time I read it, it was wonderful and freeing in the sense that I felt like I wasn't crazy. Not all people who love God are nutty fundamentalists.
This time it is still wonderful and makes me want to change a lot about my life. But this time I'm finding the pieces of my thought that differ from the thoughts presented by Mr. Miller. It's not really disagreements, it's just differences. He keeps saying that the majority of Christians really love people and are trying to make their lives an imitation of Jesus'. I don't think that. I think that most Christians (this is anyone who gives that name to theirself) are just as self centered and greedy as everyone else, and they are generally much more close minded and judgemental.
It would take quite a bit to reconcile me to Christianity. I've been talking to God about it, and he understands of course. I shouldn't be too upset about my issues with the setup though, because God has really gotten it worse. Imagine what he thought about the Crusades or the Inquisition. "Hold up, guys, those people are pieces of me too. Please stop it, I love them..."

I don't think that the majority of church people are trying to be like Jesus, that's all. They're trying to be like Donald Miller, or Rick Warren, or Rebecca St. James, or even "the early church".
Those are all good role models, but it's really hard to find one comparable to Jesus. While I was reading Blue Like Jazz, I thought about that one part in the Bible where Jesus tells the rich guy to sell all of his stuff and give the money to the poor. And basically I'm wondering if I could do it. Just sell Jemma and all the stuff I don't need to survive, and just give that all away. Because in the grand scheme of things, poor people have just as much right to the benefits I have as I do. I didn't do anything special to be born into a (comparatively) wealthy family and country. I love how Jesus totally sees how impossible it is for a person to value another person as much as they value themself. The golder rule really isn't "Do to others as you would have them do to you.", it's "love your neighbour as yourself". Don't you see how that would fix the world. You need food? Here, have mine. You deserve it as much as I do.

I'm just thinking a lot today.