Apples to Apples

That's the best game I own. Hands down. According to it, however, I'm desperate.

Desperate: to have a great desire or need of something. In the popular sense, it means to be much wanting a boyfriend or girlfriend.

I don't much understand this desperation. Nopers. I can understand loneliness. I can understand wanting love. But the unquenchable desire to have a significant other bothers me.

A boyfriend won't fix loneliness. Yah, you'll be with someone, but eventually it will come sneaking back in through the cracks and crevices of your relationship. The doubt and fear will slip in under the door and no matter how many people you have, it's something that everyone must deal with in their own mind.

A boyfriend won't be perfectly loving. Yah, you get hugs and kisses, and nice presents and a significant other, but the need to have all of yourself loved for what it is can't be fulfilled by a person. People don't have the capacity to fully know each other, I think. Our minds aren't big enough to accommodate another one of the same size. Without complete comprehension of every facet of a person's character, I don't think we can say we love them unconditionally. Although I'm not sure of all that yet, it's looking promising.

So more or less if you aren't secure in yourself, getting a significant other won't make you secure. That's the drift.

And my latest deal is that I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be single pretty much my whole life. I don't mind short term relationships, but they don't really count. Committing to a person who doesn't know and accept and love every part of me is scary. And I'm quite assured that's not possible, because I contradict myself constantly. So although I'm still open to the idea, I'm pretty certain it's out of the picture. And I'm not too worried about it